What Does Owning Your Sexy Look Like? 4 Women Explain
Within the mainstream, we’re often sold the notion that sexiness can be found in luxury clothing racks and through self-optimization. The beauty industrial complex thrives off of comparisons and fragile self-esteems — so much so that the idea of self-love can feel purely aspirational.
I’ll love myself as soon as that lash serum makes me look doe-eyed, or once I fit into that bikini, or maybe once I squat my way to sculpted glutes, it can be tempting to believe. With so many industries built on fueling our biggest insecurities, it’s exhilarating to imagine what might happen if we decided, collectively, to love ourselves today, as we are.
There’s opportunity for self-love everyday but, recently, we wondered: what does owning your sexy actually look like in real life? Taking inspiration from our Own Your Sexy campaign, we talked to four women — Sarah Anne, Christina, Dianne, and Karian — whose own self-love journeys have shaped their conceptions of what it means to feel sexy.
Adorned in our new Shadow Mesh sets, they put their vulnerabilities, definitions of sexy, and self-love stories on display. Unsurprisingly, what they had to say was uplifting, expressive, and uniquely brilliant.
Ahead, we share just a few of the things these incredible women are embracing about themselves — from affirmative tattoos to the feelings of sexiness that ripen with age. What’s not to love?
Tattoos as Love Notes
There are infinite ways to affirm yourself: notes on a mirror, gratitude journaling, and — if you’re the daring type — love notes as permanent ink. Whether it symbolizes free-spiritedness, like in the case of Christina’s “little free bird” tattoo, or your enduring love for yourself, like Sarah Anne’s “me” tattoo, body art can serve as a constant reminder of your dedication to yourself. “Every time I get undressed, I’m gonna be reminded as to why I made the decision to place that there,” says Sarah Anne.
Romancing Yourself
Dates are cool and all, but have you ever tried dating yourself? Miley Cyrus said it best: you can buy yourself flowers, write your own name in the sand. Christina, for one, is a fan of the solo-date. Whether it’s taking herself to dinner or running herself a bath, little makes her feel sexier than doing what she wants, when she wants. “Sometimes I like to treat myself to something expensive on the menu, just because I can,” she says. “There’s so much romance you can give to yourself that will make you feel sexy.”
Going Gray
50sfine founders, Dianne and Karian, are used to commanding attention when they enter a room. It’s understandable — they just ooze confidence and style. “At this point in my life, I’m the sexiest I’ve ever felt,” Karian tells us. Often, they share, they’re the only gray-haired ladies in any given room. It’s just one of the many ways they relish standing apart from the crowd. “We feel like everyone is looking at us — and they usually are,” says Dianne. “It makes us confident — I think that’s sexy, too.”
Loving Every Curve
Mainstream beauty ideals have the insidious ability to make us resent the most beautiful parts of ourselves. But transforming an insecurity into your biggest asset is Own Your Sexy energy. Once a source of inhibition, Sarah Anne now points to her thighs and hips as her favorite physical attributes. “I find wearing lingerie that accentuates my hips really sexy,” she says. “Sexy can be my laugh. It’s also being alone in my apartment cooking myself meals and buying myself flowers.”
Sexual Exploration
Whether feeling sexy means exploring yourself (your interests, your style, or your sexuality) or exploring with a partner, it can be intoxicating to discover your own (or collective) bounds. When Dianne and her husband became empty-nesters, they were free to explore each other and their home in new, exciting ways. For Dianne, coming into her sexiness has only continued to flourish with age. From getting her bellybutton pierced to donning bikinis that only seem to get more itty-bitty with each passing year, “I’m really enjoying this time in my life,” she says.
Embracing the Frizz
If you’ve noticed embracing the unconventional as a major theme here, you’d be right. Somehow, when it comes to having gorgeous hair, “frizz” is often regarded as a nemesis. But if we’ve learned a thing or two from Carrie Bradshaw (and we have), it’s that there’s nothing sexier than an untamed mane. Christina — also aptly known online as frizztina — couldn’t agree more. “I think one of the sexiest things about me is my hair,” she tells us. “I love my natural hair texture. It always has a little bit of frizz, but I think that’s what makes me me.”
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Owning your sexy is kind of like a “choose your own adventure” — you (and only you) get to decide what to love about yourself and how to embody your own sexiness. It’s your birthright.
