The first sexual awakening in the United States occurred in the 1960s. It was centered on how sexuality can be expressed outside of marriage. Taboo subjects, like having sex with several partners, having same-sex partners, and so forth entered the mainstream.
During that time, space was created around female liberation and the celebration of sex — not just for procreation or for pleasing a man — but for our own bodies, satisfaction, and pleasure. Though our behaviors and mindsets have continued to shift over time, much of the social conditioning surrounding sex, bodies, and female/femme pleasure have continued to prevail.
Just as it was once far-fetched to consider that exercise or diet might have an impact on our well-being, it’s still not widely accepted our sexuality has an effect on other aspects of our lives.
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It’s only through inner work that we can update our own physiology and nervous systems to reflect a new inner reality — one that isn’t limited by social conditioning — in which sexuality is empowering, celebratory, and in alignment with our truth.
With the help of holistic sex tools like breath, sound, movement, mindfulness, energy, and intention, you can rewire your nervous system and let go of patterns that are no longer serving you. These tools can be practiced with a partner or mastered on your own through the creation of a self-pleasure practice.
A pleasure practice involves cultivating your sexuality and erotic energy with intention. It’s like a yoga or meditation practice but with the aim of nurturing your pleasure and sexuality. As you deepen your practice over time, your physiology and nervous system can evolve to better suit you.
A pleasure practice can be fun, exploratory, sexy, or highly orgasmic. Sometimes it can also be healing, spiritual, and intentional. Using these tools, you can allow yourself to harness your pleasure, sexual confidence, and enjoyment.
Breath
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Breath activates energy. Deeper, more conscious breathing helps you become more aware of your body and generate a stronger internal connection.
It encourages you to slow down and notice what's going on inside of you around you. It has the ability to help you relax and surrender. Breath can increase your sense of desire and help you become more in touch with your body.
Sound
This may seem simple, but so many of us struggle to use our voices and express our pleasure. Your vagus nerve is highly connected to your vocal cords.
Using sound — especially from deep in the belly — activates the vagus nerve, fostering a mind-body connection that can amplify your experience and deepen relaxation. Sounding invites a vibrational field that can become a gateway to unlocking multiple and full-body orgasms.
Movement
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Tap into the kinds of movement that feel most natural to your body. Once you’re able to allow your body to move in response to pleasurable sensations, your sex life is likely to improve. By bringing awareness to your movement, you can create a deep connection to your body — one that’s quite powerful.
Movements that involve squeezing and releasing, like pilates or aerobics, can help release tension from your sacrum and activate the vagina. When you’re conscious about squeezing you can also be conscious about relaxing.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness takes practice and involves being present in your emotions and bodily sensations. Bring focus to your body and center your mind on the present throughout your day-to-day.
When in your self-pleasure practice or during sex, your mindfulness practice will allow you to draw deeper into your body’s experience — increasing and expanding your body’s capacity to hold pleasure.
Energy
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In Tantric philosophy, everything is made of energy, and you have both energy and consciousness. When working with energy, you're also working with consciousness, and vice versa. By getting in touch with your senses and using the tools listed above, you can become more conscious of your energy and how it can be amplified.
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These tools have changed my experience of my own sexuality, allowing me to step fully into the most radiant and vibrant version of myself. They have helped me claim my erotic essence and taken me from painful and disconnected sex to more luscious, soul-nourishing experiences.
The more I practice with these tools, the deeper my connection with my sacred sexuality becomes elevated — enriching and enhancing every part of my life.