In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, The Healing Diaries is an ongoing series focused on post-surgery healing journeys, the stories behind scars, and who survivors are beyond their diagnoses.
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Whether we've experienced it ourselves or second hand, breast cancer has touched nearly all of us in some capacity. Post-diagnoses (or even pre-diagnoses), it's a journey that unfolds differently for each person affected.
While some choose breast reconstruction, others choose to go flat or to adorn their bodies in ways that both honor and transcend their battles with breast cancer and give new meaning to scars.
In the case of our longterm collaborator Colleen Strong — whom we first had the pleasure of meeting during our Age Doesn't Matter campaign — she's undergone all of the above.
Colleen's insights were pivotal in the creation of our new Ultra Soft Front Closure Bra, designed with healing, recovery, and accessibility in mind.
At a recent shoot, we had the opportunity to capture Colleen and her daughter, Sasha, in conversation about her own breast cancer journey and the transformative powers of her mastectomy tattoo.
Sasha: At what point in your journey did you decide to get your chest tattooed?
Colleen: Part of the process of reconstruction is getting nipples — and women either get them reconstructed or tattooed. I was going down the tattoo route and, I thought, if I'm gonna get something tattooed, nipples are kind of boring. I should maybe just get something completely different.
I started researching mastectomy tattoos and there were so many cool designs and placements that women had used, and that's when I decided: that's what I want. I don't want nipples, I want something really cool.
S: How did you come to the design you chose?
C: I was part of a program where women are brought together for free mastectomy tattoos. You came with me to Montreal and we did that together. Part of that process is they match you with a tattoo artist that has the same aesthetic you're looking for.
I had very few requirements, other than I wanted a cardinal in my design. The cardinal’s really significant for me — and for our family — because we always feel like, when we see a cardinal, it's someone that's passed that's coming to show up when you need them.
For me, that person was my aunt that raised me. I really wanted to represent her in my final tattoo, because — even though she wasn't here — she was a big part of supporting me through that process. I really felt her presence through everything.
S: What part do you think the tattoo played in your breast cancer journey and recovery?
C: I didn't realize until afterwards how much of an impact it would have. I really struggled after my surgeries just connecting to my body. I went to sleep in the [Operating Room] and woke up and my body was completely different. I wasn't really prepared for that.
As time went on, I had an experience every day where I would wake up and forget that I had had cancer. I would go in the bathroom and turn the light on and see my body and it was kind of a slap every morning. It was a really challenging way to start every day, to be honest.
Once I got the tattoo, the next morning I turned the light on and instead of a bad shock, it was an awesome shock. I really underestimated the power of how I would feel about my body — of changing a painful experience into something really beautiful. It was huge in terms of my recovery.
C: What did you think when I said that I was going to get a full tattoo on my breast?
S: [I was] a little bit surprised — a little bit not surprised also. I think it was a good decision. I could see that it really helped you move through the difficulty you'd experienced with your reconstruction and embrace the changes that you didn't choose for your body. I think it helped bring you a bit of closure across the journey that you had been through.
C: It totally did. Being in that studio felt like closing a door on something and a new beginning. [It] was huge for me that you came [to the tattoo parlor] because I wanted you to be part of the positive too, not just the struggle — to have you there so we could both shut that door in a positive way together.
S: What was your experience of being in that tattoo parlor with women all going through the same thing?
C: There [were] obviously women that had been through similar, but different, experiences and we're all there for kind of the same reason, which was empowerment and that was really powerful. You could feel it.
Everyone went through that same kind of transition of taking something that had brought them so much pain, but they were reclaiming it. They had chosen to adorn that area of their body and make it something beautiful that they were going to treasure each day.
S: What was that moment like when you finally got to step in front of the mirror and see your body [with your new tattoo]?
C: It was a lot. I was super happy with how the tattoo turned out. It was exactly what I wanted. It was also a release in a way because the scars were gone. They're still there, but I [couldn’t] see them anymore. They're covered up with something beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I bawled. Just that release of "okay, it's done and I'm never going to have another one of those mornings where I've forgotten my scars." Just knowing that it was done and that I had something beautiful in that spot now was overwhelming, but also very joyous.
S: Going through that journey and reclaiming that part of your body, then afterwards finding out that you needed to have another surgery to remove your implant, which involved cutting into your new tattoo. What was that like?
C: I definitely struggled with having gone through everything to have the reconstruction and then to lose that breast a second time was really difficult emotionally.
But I knew if I could maintain the tattoo it would make it so much easier to accept, yet again, another big change in my body. They maintained most of the tattoo and I could have had reconstruction again, [but] I chose not to. I was in a different place.
I was better prepared to accept my body the way that it is. I didn't feel like I needed reconstruction. I just wanted to live more authentically and get people used to seeing women with one breast.
I chose to go flat because I knew that I would be more comfortable and happier that way. But I also hope that by doing that other women feel free to also live their truth and not have to cover up what happened to them.