For behavioral health scientist and director of maternal health at the Black Women’s Health Imperative (BWHI), Kanika Harris, that means “you have the support to take care of yourself and [your] growing baby,” she says. “It means that whatever brings you joy in this experience of bringing life into the world, you have the right to that.” 

Whether that looks like giving birth at home, being surrounded by friends and family, settling into an intuitive birthing position, or incorporating cultural rituals, there should be space in the birthing experience for autonomy and joy.

Why then, within the current framework, do safety, support, and empowerment remain firmly out of reach for so many burgeoning families? Kanika, who’s policy and birthing justice work champions health equity for Black women, stipulates “I think for us in this country, birth is not feeling safe anymore.” 

It’s a heart wrenching declaration — and one that’s supported by heaps of evidence. Despite the progress being made by BWHI and other birthing justice organizations, the stark reality is that birthing experiences and outcomes vary drastically based on racial identity, income, and social status. 

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These inequalities are a driving force in Knix’s decision to join forces with BWHI and to launch and sustain the NOURISH Program, a doula training program designed to meet the intersectional needs of Black birthing families. Taking a grassroots approach, the program is helping push the birthing justice movement forward. 

This movement, as defined by the University of California San Francisco, calls for safeguarding “the rights of birthing people to make decisions around their pregnancies, including seeking abortions, and to have children in safe and supportive environments.” 

It’s a reasonable ask and, yet, Black and LGBTQ2S+ folks, as well as immigrants, those who are low income and not able-bodied face mounting inequality, often struggling to access adequate care. 

The maternal mortality rate among Black birthing people in the U.S. remains disproportionately high, while thousands of others experience unexpected labor and delivery outcomes with complicated health consequences. It’s especially troubling if you consider 80% of pregnancy-related deaths are completely preventable. 

“Every mother, everywhere, regardless of race or background deserves to have a healthy pregnancy and birth,” reads a social post from world class athlete Serena Williams in honor of Black Maternal Health Week. 

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After welcoming her daughter via emergency C-section, she suffered a pulmonary embolism, among other health complications — an eye opening example of how structural racism and implicit bias can affect even the most privileged women of color. 

As organizations and advocates alike work towards eliminating barriers to health equity for Black women and birthing people, knowledge and education are key to empowering women of color to pursue the best health decisions for themselves. 

This looks like challenging the insidious forces of racism, sexism, and inequality at work within the health and reproductive care system. It also involves restoring knowledge to the Black birthing community by offering person-centered care and support from traditional birth-workers, like midwives and doulas.  

“I think having doulas present is providing continuous support and care, and providing a way for families to feel safe,” says Kanika. “[It’s] so critical that you have someone that’s helping you or providing you support throughout that journey.” 

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To date, the NOURISH program (which is scholarship-based and free of cost) has trained 38 full-spectrum doulas who have gone on to provide 160 Black birthing families with the physical, emotional, and informational support needed to manage the transition into parenthood and the postpartum phase. 

“The NOURISH program really came out of this idea of restoring autonomous communities that understand birth and have that knowledge for them and their families,” says Kanika. 

While the program provides postpartum doulas with the knowledge and resources needed to support birthing families, its grassroots approach also allows women to advocate for themselves, as well as circulate knowledge within their families and communities at large. 

Knix’s donations to the scholarship program have grown to over $200,000 — thanks, in part, to the $1 donations from every item purchased from our Maternity and Postpartum Collection. 

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As NOURISH continues to expand, it’s heartening to know that doulas — empowered with knowledge and person-centered care — are transforming the lives of those in their communities. And, in no small way, are driving the birthing justice movement forward by improving the health outcomes of birthing people. 

The crux, however, remains that how women show up to birth is just one component of an overarching system in which social determinants continue to negatively impact women of color on the whole (pregnant or not). 

When the health needs of women of color are being met, “then you don’t have to worry about how pregnant women show up to birth,” according to Kanika. 

“Maternal health is the number one indicator of the health of a nation,” she tells me. “Birthing justice means you have sovereignty and autonomy to live your life on your terms, get all the resources you need to provide for your family, [and to] live out your passions — whatever that means.”

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We hope you found this post informative — but remember: we’re not doctors and this post is not medical advice! While all posts are fact-checked and well researched, we always recommend you chat with your doctor about any questions or concerns you might have regarding a medical condition. We’re here to support and educate, but never with the aim of disregarding professional medical advice you’ve been given. Phew, now that that’s out of the way, you can go on living unapologetically free.

Over the past few years, a shift has taken place: new parents have taken to social media to showcase the realities of the postpartum period, cultural notions of “bouncing back” have become increasingly shunned, and the phase that’s come to be known as the “fourth trimester” is — little by little — becoming demystified. 

Our very own CEO, Joanna Griffiths, even authored Life After Birth in which a tapestry of portraits of early motherhood illustrate what life is really like after birth. While we tend to focus our attention on the arrival of a baby, the book illuminates the transformations that take place during the postnatal period.

In peeling back the layers of this beautiful and raw transition from pregnancy to parenthood, many important gaps have also come to light. The maternal death rate, for one, continues to disproportionally affect Black birthing families — with 52% of maternal deaths occurring postpartum due to lack of postpartum and childcare education. 

Steadily, more and more new parents are calling on the specialized knowledge and care offered by Postpartum Doulas to fill this crucial void. In support of those navigating postpartum journeys, last year we partnered with the Black Women’s Health Imperative to create NOURISH, a Postpartum Doula training program. 

In an effort to quell inflated maternal mortality rates within the Black community, we donated an initial $75,000 in scholarships to support an entire cohort of Doulas. In turn, the program’s first graduating class has gone on to provide free postpartum care to numerous families across North America.

Recently, I caught up with Lydia Harris, an entrepreneur, Birth Doula, and recent NOURISH graduate (among many other endeavours) to learn more about the kind of support Postpartum Doulas are offering growing families. Lydia, who is the founder of the women’s health-focused Labor With Love, opened up about her recent experience as a Postpartum Doula for her cousin (and new mom) Maya Scott-Richardson. 

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Chatting together virtually, their love and candor is immediately palpable. In the wake of a traumatic delivery experience followed by a challenging bout of postpartum depression, Maya described the tender care provided by her cousin. “She was very helpful in helping me make sure I’m taking care of myself and making sure that things for the baby were also being taken care of,” she says. “I am forever grateful for that.”

Maya describes the post-birth journey as one in which she and her husband, Kadeem Richardson, had to “gently” learn to care for themselves again. Maya and Kadeem, who are both PhD graduates from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign in separate STEM disciplines (Maya specializes in Environmental Health and Data Science and Kadeem specializes in Reproductive Toxicology), navigated post-birth healing and new parenthood in tandem with busy schedules and demanding careers. 

In addition to Kadeem’s full-time research, he’s also a stand-up comedian and the founder of Tafari Men’s Grooming, where he puts his chemistry background to use creating products with Black hair and beards in mind. 

As Lydia so aptly points out, adapting to full-time childcare and life with a busy partner is a transition many new parents have to navigate — especially in this day and age. “I think this new-age balance that must be struck in a world where you have to have multiple jobs in order to survive and thrive is an important piece of this puzzle,” she tells me. 

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When asked about her journey in becoming a Doula, Lydia describes the experience as “enlightening.” Though she had no prior formal childcare experience, shocked by statistics and health disparity rates, she was called to take on Doula work as a means of improving birth rates and outcomes. 

Her Postpartum Doula designation was the final step in her path to becoming a full-spectrum Doula. Still, there seemed to be an endless number of things to learn. “I walked away from every single training thinking: How in the world have I gone this far in my Doula journey without knowing this?,” she recalls. 

The most important thing she learned throughout the program? You can’t pour from an empty cup. “They offered us training on how to work on ourselves, teaching us tools to heal ourselves and unpack the emotions we experience as Doulas,” she says. “Because how you take care of yourself is going to impact how you take care of others.”

It’s a philosophy Lydia has carried with her through her work, including caring for Maya during her postpartum journey — which involved everything from making meals to caring for her son so Maya and Kadeem could get some much-needed reprieve.

There were instances in which Maya recalls being up with the baby for 72 hours and the relief of having Lydia come by to ensure she was rested and fed. Sometimes, it wasn’t even a matter of Lydia physically being there. “It might be just a text and chat to say, Hey, how’s everything going?”

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When the conversation shifts to misconceptions about postnatal care, Maya stresses the importance of creating a supportive environment and how much things can change post-delivery. “You know that you are expecting a baby, but things actually physically change for a lot of people once they have a baby in their hands.” Having a Postpartum Doula around also means that new parents don’t have to rely as heavily on each other.

Lydia, on her end, underlines the distinction between Nannies and Postpartum Doulas. “Both roles are very important and I think it’s important to understand that your job as a Postpartum Doula is not just to hold the baby. Your job is to take care of the birthing person.” The job doesn’t stop at child care, she stipulates. It can involve everything from observing breastfeeding to calling in a lactation consultant, identifying potential hazards in the house, doing housework, and offering emotional support. 

In the future, Lydia also mentions wanting to help clients mobilize their community and network during the fourth trimester. Instead of baby showers or gender reveals, she suggests placing the emphasis on when the baby has actually arrived and new parents need help the most. This could be in the form of a cooked meal or delivery, an offer to clean the house or hold the baby — but everyone should chip in. 

“You really want to help a postpartum mom?,” she says. “Don't bring me a diaper cake. Bring me a pan of lasagna three weeks after I gave birth.”

“It’s really important to exercise in a way that supports your body and all the changes that are occurring in order to maintain your strength and prevent any injuries,” says personal trainer and occupational therapist Jenni Diamond. Using evidence-based programs, Jenni specializes in helping expectant and new parents exercise safely both during and after pregnancy. 

Ahead, she takes us through everything you need to know about breaking a sweat during the magical — but, sometimes, arduous — pregnancy and postpartum period. 

There Are Tons of Benefits

If you’re expecting, the notion of exercising might seem daunting — but “research evidence we have right now says it’s actually part of a healthy pregnancy to engage in physical activity,” says Jenni. Unless you've been told by your treating healthcare provider to avoid exercise, there are tons of benefits to moving safely.

According to Jenni, engaging in physical activity throughout pregnancy can decrease the risk of depression by 25%. Your chances of developing gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and preeclampsia can also decrease by up to 40%.

There are also the benefits of increased energy levels and decreased back pain. “Doing evidence-based pregnancy workouts can even help with labor and delivery by learning proper cueing and how to activate your muscles,” says Jenni. 

Avoid Injuries and Strains

As your body grows and changes, you may be at increased risk of strains and sprains. Added pressure to your pelvic floor can also lead to pelvic dysfunction and bladder leaks, which can be heightened by certain forms of movement. 

Even daily routines, including lifting things in your day-to-day, can exacerbate pelvic and intra-abdominal pressure. The key is using proper form, connecting to your muscles as you move, and staying comfortably within your body's limits.

Know What's Safe

There are certain forms of exercise to avoid during pregnancy — and among them are anything with rapid changes in direction or excessively hot climates. In addition to passing on hot yoga, anything with a risk of falling — like skiing or horseback riding — should also be off the table. 

Exercising on your back is generally fine, according to Jenni, but if you start to feel unwell it may be due to a lack of blood flow, in which case, you’ll want to promptly shift positions. When it comes to intensity levels, Jenni suggests keeping things moderate. 

"She recommends using the “talk test” to ensure you’re not working out too vigorously. “You should be able to have a conversation,” says Jenni. “That’s a good indicator of what would be considered a reasonably safe exercise intensity." For those who want to exercise at a more vigorous intensity level, she recommends speaking to your treating healthcare provider to discuss whether it's safe for you.

Adapt Your Fitness Routine

When it comes to exercising during pregnancy or postpartum, what it ultimately comes down to is what feels best for your body. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it,” says Jenni.

Bladder leaks, for instance, could be a sign that you’re putting too much pressure on your pelvic floor. While Leakproof Activewear and Underwear can help manage these symptoms, seeing a pelvic physiotherapist will help mitigate the root cause. 

Adapting your current routine to avoid pelvic pressure or general strain could be as simple as lessening your weight load — or doing away with weights altogether. “If jump squats aren’t feeling right, you can modify by doing regular squats,” says Jenni. Listening to your body during pregnancy and postpartum is a good way to test your limits and scale back if needed. 

Ease Back Into Postpartum Movement

Getting back into your fitness routine postpartum might be the last thing on your list of priorities. Between the sleepless nights and days filled with trying to keep a brand new human alive, it makes complete sense. Jenni recommends keeping in mind that any movement is good movement. “Going for a walk and seeing how your body responds is a great starting point early on.”

If you’re dealing with postpartum incontinence — which is extremely common — consider making an appointment with a physical therapist for customized pelvic floor exercises. Otherwise, Jenni suggests easing back into a movement routine with strength and mobility exercises. 

Hip flexor stretches can help alleviate any tightness that's accumulated during pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Starting with one knee down to the ground and one leg stretched in front of you, you can lean forward for a much-needed stretch. 

All in all, patience with your ever-changing body is key. “Just keep building,” says Jenni. “Slowly add intensity to your routine in order to build strength and prevent injury.”

—

We hope you found this post informative — but remember: we’re not doctors and this post is not medical advice! While all posts are fact-checked and well researched, we always recommend you chat with your doctor about any questions or concerns you might have regarding a medical condition. We’re here to support and educate, but never with the aim of disregarding professional medical advice you’ve been given. Phew, now that that’s out of the way, you can go on living unapologetically free.

In the hopes of fostering positive birthing journeys and flattening the maternal mortality rate, Knix committed an initial $75,000 in scholarships to BWHI — in addition to ongoing proceeds of $1 from every item purchased from our Maternity and Postpartum Collection. 

Nearly a year later, 26 Doulas have been receiving training and working hands-on with birthing families as part of the program. As the NOURISH program's first cohort of students approach their graduation date in May, we caught up with some of the incredible facilitators who are guiding the next generation of Doulas.

Mavhu Hargrove, Postpartum Doula

(Mavhu Hargrove wearing the HiTouch High Rise Legging and Good to Go Seamless Tank in Peppermint)

On her day-to-day: I offer online educational courses to birthing parents and birth workers. My courses share Indigenous Zezuru practices and customs surrounding childbirth and postpartum. Using these models of care, I help my students plan more holistically for their own (or their client’s) postpartum journeys.

On the inspiration behind her work: I’ve always helped women in my community and family when they had babies but was inspired to become a Postpartum Doula when I became a grandmother. I had my first baby while living in my motherland, Zimbabwe, and took the support I received for granted. 

After coming to America and getting married I received the same level of support from my African American family, but I realized that not every birthing parent has the support they deserve. Becoming a Postpartum Doula is my contribution towards changing that.

On what she finds most rewarding: I feel rewarded when people leave my classes feeling empowered with the understanding that when we support and care for the birthing parent, we are gifting them the energy and brain space to care beautifully for their babies.

On the importance of Doulas: Doulas provide important support to parents by sharing their knowledge, resources, and experience — but the most important support we provide is being the voice that encourages parents to trust themselves to make good decisions. 

This is especially important for Black birthing families. When you exist in a space that at times negates you, you need an advocate — someone who can hear and see you without bias. Unfortunately, we know the results of being unseen and unheard during birth and postpartum can be terrible. 

On guiding a new cohort of Doulas: It’s both exciting and humbling. It’s exciting because I learn from everyone I encounter and it’s humbling because I feel that in helping to guide a new cohort of Doulas, I am helping to plant a tree of care and love that my pregnant great-grandchildren will sit under.   

Erica McAfee, Maternal Child Health Advocate and Birthworker Educator

(Erica McAfee wearing the Merino SculptWool Seamless Top and Legging in Dark Cherry)

On her day-to-day: My day-to-day involves working with clients who need support through birth, postpartum, or bereavement. I also plan, schedule, and record the Sisters in Loss Podcast, and manage our online community and grief support groups.  

On the inspiration behind her work: My own birth story inspired me to become a Doula and help other Black women and women of color not feel fear or experience trauma during pregnancy, after experiencing loss, or receiving an infertility diagnosis. Black women can have positive, powerful birthing experiences.

On what she finds most rewarding: The most rewarding part of my work is being a voice for the voiceless and giving those a voice to share their story. There is so much power in storytelling to bring forth advocacy, change, and activism within the birthing and reproductive justice communities.

On the importance of Doulas: Doulas provide emotional, physical, and mental support to birthing families. Bereavement Doulas like myself help families welcome their baby, say goodbye, create rituals and memories, and begin the grieving process by connecting them to a licensed maternal mental health professional or grief support group.  

Doulas are especially important for Black birthing families who need support to navigate the health care system so they can be seen, heard, respected, and listened to no matter their socioeconomic status or insurance capabilities.

On guiding a new cohort of Doulas: It feels empowering to teach a new cohort of Doulas to support those who feel left out, lost, and unheard. When we help those who are marginalized, we help everyone. 

I believe Doulas are a vital step in improving the maternal mortality and morbidity and infant mortality rates in this country. However, we still have to work to dismantle institutional and structural racism in our healthcare system.

TaNefer Camara, Doula and Lactation Consultant

(TaNefer Camara wearing Leakproof High Rise in Work of Art and Catalyst Front Zip Bra in Navy)

On her day-to-day: As a Doula and Lactation Consultant, my work consists of 3 major parts: education, direct support, and program development. I train new and aspiring Doulas, Birthworkers, and expecting parents on lactation, breastfeeding, and postpartum wellness. I also am the Co-Founder of the Black Course: a 45-hour foundational lactation education course. 

I assess both mom and baby. I review their birth and health history, observe feedings, and work on any issues they may be dealing with. I talk to my clients about their support system, any feelings that are surfacing for them and collaborate to provide a plan. 

On the inspiration behind her work: I became a Doula in 2006 to address the maternal and infant mortality and morbidity rates in my community. That year I also birthed my first child. I saw a huge void in the cultural component of maternal care and wanted to fill it. I was inspired by an article I read about the history of Black Midwives in the rural South. 

My own experiences as a young Black woman, pregnant and needing deeper care that was more culturally aligned inspired me to continue this work. I saw a need for greater support in the area of lactation and breastfeeding, so I pursued that path further.

On what she finds most rewarding: The most rewarding aspect of the work I do is seeing new moms come out of that period of confusion and exhaustion and emerge as more confident and proud parents. I love to witness the transformation of my clients, seeing them and their babies thrive is why I do this work. It's like watching a caterpillar transform into a butterfly. 

On the importance of Doulas: Doulas provide families with immeasurable mental, emotional, and spiritual support. This is especially important for Black families because of the racism within healthcare and our society, in general. We are returning to what we did before, which was to rely on our own community for our survival and revival. 

On guiding a new cohort of Doulas: It feels amazing to be guiding a new cohort of Doulas. This work is not about keeping the knowledge to ourselves, it is about passing the torch to the next generation of Birthworkers, Lactivists, and Healers. 

Mother Mother Binahkaye Joy, Lactation Counselor and Movement Facilitator

(Binahkaye Joy wearing the LuxeLift Bodysuit in Pink Ginger/Photographed by Colin A. Danville)

On her day-to-day: I spend most of my days dancing by the light of the sun, bouncing around with the munchkins, nourishing babies from my body, and nurturing my children’s brilliance and discoveries at Wildseed, our family learning lab practice. As a Mother Mother, I hold space for the mothers in my community and dream up innovative ways that the world can be a softer, sweeter, and more lovingly vibrant place for mothers.

On the inspiration behind her work: I was in the waiting room because a dear friend had called and asked me to come to the hospital. I didn’t know she was going to invite me into her birthing room. I felt unprepared to be what I thought she needed, but just like that: I was sitting with her face-to-face, holding her hand through the contractions. 

I was amazed at how much support my presence brought. I listened to myself as unrehearsed scripts of affirmations of her strength and beauty poured effortlessly from me. I just kept reminding her that she could do this, and how amazing a mother she already was.  

It was a heart-warming, middle-of-the-night birthing moment. There was so much love to celebrate, and yet I was very troubled by the way my friend was being pressured to get an epidural even though she repeatedly said she didn’t want one. 

I was horrified at the rough manner in which a nurse handled her body just moments after giving birth, wrenching her belly to speed up the shrinking of her uterus. It was a lot to process, and I felt certain then, birth is sacred and holy. There has to be a softer, more gentle way for me to give birth when it’s my turn.  

On what she finds most rewarding: I love witnessing people give birth, in all the ways that can happen. I love giving birth myself — to my children, ideas, programs, language, and the communities and dreamscapes I create. 
All of my labors seed more love, joy, and discovery in the world.

If there are no adequate words for what I am experiencing, for what I need to share, then I create the language. If there is no space for my reality or my story, then I nurture that space until it is tangible. If the community is yet to be born, then I find that community within myself, within my own stories, and I affirm myself for as long as it takes to reach others who are looking for such a communion.  

On the importance of Doulas: For many Black families, Doulas are reintroducing sacred birthing knowledge and ancient technologies that would otherwise continue to be unremembered. In this way, not only are Doulas serving mothers, they are seeding futures and regenerating cultural memory. 

As we continue to dream a new world forward where all mothers and babies can be well, Doulas are laboring in the gap in the most essential of ways. Doulas represent the beginning of a vital reimagining. They perform fragments of a support system that has been intentionally fractured. 

Doulas help mothers and their families remember, bit by bit, how to love someone who is giving birth, who is carrying new life into the world. Doulas bring visibility to life-saving, care practices that every family needs to know. 

On guiding a new cohort of Doulas: It is an honor to be a part of the NOURISH Doula Program! I cherish every opportunity I have to witness the brilliance of those who feel called to serve mothers and their families. I love sharing my stories and encouraging Doulas to lean into the power of their stories when discovering their path into this work.  

As we cultivate more learning spaces for Doulas, we are also emphasizing the importance of everyone’s wellness, care, and respect. When designing our birthing support networks and systems we get to be intentional about building a better practice for this generation of Birthworkers and those to come. 

Being a member of the NOURISH team is a beautiful synthesis of years and years of finding my own way as a mother. I celebrate this labor that continues to light my way. I am so grateful for the space to create, dream, share, witness, and support. 

You can read more about Mother Mother Binahkaye Joy here.

I’m a wife and a mother — and from early on, I’ve always viewed myself as an athlete. Becoming a mother has both challenged and affirmed that part of my identity. No matter what images you see in the media, the greatest athletes in this world are mothers. 

Our first child was a beautiful surprise. And like many first-time parents, it felt as if we were learning the rules of the game whilst smack in the middle of it. My first pregnancy and delivery took a toll on both my body and mind. 

I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety, as well as body dysmorphia. It was difficult to look at a body that was vastly different than what I was accustomed to. After struggling to feel like myself after my first birthing experience, I knew I would approach things differently next time.

Ready for Round Two

(Jaleecia sporting the Leakproof Nursing Bra and CoreLove Underwear in Indigo with the Waffle Robe in Grey)

When our oldest turned two, I finally felt like myself and stronger in my body again. And just like that: I was ready to sacrifice all the progress I’d made for another child. We tried for 7 months before finally getting a positive test. When we did, I approached my second pregnancy like I was preparing for a track meet. 

I didn’t allow it to happen to me but instead, ensured I was an active participant: calling shots, researching all my options, and vetting midwives and OB-GYNs in order to assemble the best possible team for my ideal birth plan. 

As a Black woman in America, it’s impossible to ignore all of the heartbreaking statistics around the maternal mortality rate and the disparities we experience in the medical field. What’s even more disturbing are the number of lives lost to completely preventable situations.

For Black women, the difference between life and death during labor and postpartum can come down to one person’s prejudice. These facts invoked so much fear and anger in me, I made it my mission to do everything possible to experience labor and delivery as safely, confidently, and fearlessly as possible. 

Assembling a Dream Team

(Jaleecia and her dream team, photographed by Carmen Bridgewater)

So, your girl hired a midwife and doula team straight from heaven, including two women who were aware of these alarming statistics and passionate about changing the narrative around Black women and birth. My midwife, Ashley Greene, and doula, Yvette Atkins — some of the most amazing human beings I know — held my hand and walked me through my pregnancy, removing all doubt and fear from my mind. 

I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) — a rare condition that causes severe nausea — and anemia throughout my entire pregnancy and watched it ravage my body, making it even more unrecognizable. Not only did I look different but I felt lethargic, weak, and frustrated that no matter how much I prepared, pregnancy still threw me a curveball. But that’s where your team comes in.

My midwife listened, validated, and paid very close attention to my holistic health. She felt more like a sister with an abundance of medical knowledge who cared deeply about me and my unborn child. My doula also tended to my mental, emotional, and spiritual health in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. I thought she would simply teach me how to breathe — instead, she taught me how to trust my body and believe in myself.

I was also very blessed to have three additional teammates help me through those brutal 9 and a half months: my mother, my oldest daughter, and the MVP, my husband. My mother helped cook, clean, and entertain my daughter, while my firstborn watched countless birth videos with us and reassured me I could do it. She even created a game in which she practiced delivering her dolls in case we needed her help. 

I also would not have made it through my pregnancy, labor, or delivery the way I did without my husband, who is my physical embodiment of unconditional love. When it came time to push out my nine-pound baby, unmedicated, this man flooded me with love, humor, affirmations, and affection. With this all-star team, we welcomed our little peanut after just 4 hours of labor and 3 pushes. 

Shaping Your Own Birth Story

(Jaleecia and family, photographed by Carmen Bridgewater)

Everyone’s birth story is their own and I discovered that my birth story didn’t have to be scary and traumatic, as is often portrayed in film and TV. I believe it's this peaceful and loving energy that ushered me into a relatively harmonious and confident fourth trimester. 

My body didn’t “snap” back, my kids still wear me out, and I still have arguments with my husband. But at the end of the day, this experience has strengthened my belief in myself. After pushing out a nine-pound baby and enduring months of illness, there is nothing I cannot do. 

Jaleecia Pinson is a Dallas-based commercial voice actor and full-time mom.

For birth photographer, Carmen Bridgewater, it's about transforming a potentially traumatic moment into a beautiful one. Beyond the daunting task of capturing these sacred moments of birth — and producing images that will be cherished for a lifetime — their work serves a greater purpose. Their lens is also used to educate, empower, and subvert.

Scrolling through their Instagram feed for the first time, we were taken aback by the raw and candid essence of their process — we couldn't wait to get into the nitty-gritty of what it's like to be a birth photographer.

As a photographer, what drew you to capturing birthing experiences?

(Image by Carmen Bridgewater, who is wearing the BlissFit Leakproof Nursing Bra and Cotton Super Leakproof Boxer Brief)

My photography has always followed the natural ebb and flow of my personal life. While in college, I shot many graduation portraits. After I graduated and got married, I shot many weddings and engagement photos. A few years before getting pregnant and giving birth to my own child, I felt a pull towards motherhood portraits and the genre of birth photography. 

As any Google search rabbit hole begins, researching birth photography led me to the treacherous statistics that face Black birthing and postpartum people. I went through the usual grieving process, first becoming sad, then angry, and then earnestly wanting to be a part of the solution.

I noticed that it was hard to find positive images of Black people birthing and there were very few Black photographers in the birth genre. I wanted to use photography to show Black people that they have options and can be the author of their own birth stories. 

The work you do is so vital in demystifying birthing journeys. How does it feel to be part of these raw and intimate moments?

Sometimes I am documenting a moment so intimate and so emotion-filled, I feel like I shouldn’t be in the room. On the other hand, I think about what makes this work so invaluable. I am invited into these birth spaces to capture the moments otherwise left unseen — to bear witness to the magic and miracles.

"I wanted to use photography to show Black people that they have options and can be the author of their own birth stories."

With every birth I capture, I am reminded of the amount of trust placed in me to not just capture pictures but to tell a full story of pain, perseverance, triumph, and then joy. 

What have you learned from your work as a birth photographer?

(Image by Carmen Bridgewater, who is wearing the BlissFit Leakproof Nursing Bra and Cotton Super Leakproof Boxer Brief)

Living, breathing, and creating in this space has opened my eyes to the beauty of informed decision-making in birth and I am more eager than ever for all Black birthing people to experience its joys. 

I have attended births where the birthing person did not take a childbirth education class or hire a doula and didn’t fully understand their rights. As a result, their experiences left them with many scars, physically and emotionally.

I have learned that through photography, I can essentially educate people about their birthing options. A lot of people who follow me on social media (initially) don’t know what water birth is or what roles doulas and midwives play. Photography is, if nothing else, a conversation starter. 

Do you think photography can empower birthing people to cultivate their own unique birthing experiences?

I do! When Black people see themselves represented in beautiful birth imagery, they are able to close their eyes and place themselves there — in a safe space where they are surrounded by support and genuine care. 

They begin to read and ask questions about how they, too, can have a peaceful, trauma-free experience. Our bodies have been birthing babies since the beginning of time and, sometimes, we forget what miracles they can perform — largely without the help of modern medicine. My work brings people back to that reality. It is my activism.

How do certain implicit biases disproportionately affect Black birthing people and families?

(Image by Carmen Bridgewater, who is wearing the BlissFit Leakproof Nursing Bra and Cotton Super Leakproof Boxer Brief)

Back in 2019, I was 7 months pregnant on a trip to the mall to find some maternity clothes to fit my ever-growing body. As I walked up to the door, I saw a white man was holding the door for his family. When I reached the door, he dropped the door on me as I was about to walk through it. 

I don’t believe that he meant harm. I actually think it’s more about what he didn’t think. He didn’t think I needed someone to hold the door for me. As we know, Black women are plagued with the “strong Black women” schema and it doesn’t just go away when we are pregnant. 

Because of implicit bias, non-Black people have trouble empathizing with us, and that carries over directly into our birthing experiences — from our prenatal appointments to our postpartum care. This phenomenon is further amplified for those of us who have more fat on our bodies and those with disabilities.

"My work brings people back to that reality. It is my activism."

Imagery is so powerful and has the magic to induce all sorts of feelings: empathy, compassion, and understanding just to name a few. What I love about birth photography is that it gives us a non-invasive peek into a sacred space we would otherwise not ever enter. I do not do this work to end or address racism, I do this work for my clients. 

However, it’s a bonus to know that my work could have the power to change the hearts of non-POC as well. Imagine what a different world we would live in if we were able to really see each other as complex beings?

As a new mom (congrats!), how would you describe your own personal birthing journey?

(Image by Carmen Bridgewater, who is wearing the BlissFit Leakproof Nursing Bra and Cotton Super Leakproof Boxer Brief)

My birthing experience was rich! As a birth-worker, I had to make the decision to leave all that I had ever witnessed at other births at the door and have my own experience. I planned my birth like a vacation. 

I wanted to give birth in a beautiful location so I toured birth centres and met with their midwives. I wanted my loved ones with me so I picked a team of my immediate family members to support me and assigned each one a role. I even decided what yummy meal I wanted to eat after and had my dad pick it up after the baby made her debut. 

I labored for about 7 hours before giving birth in the water to a seven-pound baby. Having my birth portraits to look back on was so healing and such a beautiful way to make peace with my journey to motherhood: the good, the bad, and the glorious.

Carmen Bridgewater is a photographer, videographer, and birth-worker based in Fort Worth

My plan was to compete at the Games and see how I felt after a healthy break from rowing. At 28-years-old, with a graduate degree and a partner of eight years, there was a lot to think about. Should I come back and try for another Olympics? Should I pursue a career and save for a house? When do I want to have children?

Now, almost five months later, I have begun training for the next Olympics — I want to chase my childhood dream of standing on the podium one last time. And, as a woman, I find the questions I face around this decision are focused on my role as a prospective mother.

What about children? Are you going to have kids right after the next Olympics? How will you save enough to support a family? I see many of my teammates facing the same questions — and for those who are older, the decision has been hastened by the biological clock ticking in the background.

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Now more than ever, coming back to sport after having children is a reality for many athletes — and many are competing at the highest level. At every Olympics, there are many mothers who compete, and although this won’t be how my story ends, I became interested in hearing from these athletes and learning about their experiences.

When I began interviewing athletes and researchers who focus on women athletes returning to sport post-pregnancy, what surprised me was the lack of guidelines and scientific research. With all these moms returning to training, I figured there must be some clear rules to follow.

What I learned is that many of these women are forging their own paths, with the help of family, their family doctor, and support from teammates.

The Pressure to ‘Bounce Back’

“I think with pregnancies and having babies, there's just that expectation or need to prove to everybody how quickly you can bounce back. Whether you're coming back to sport or not. I think it's something a lot of women try to do, to be able to say oh, well, I lost all the baby weight this fast, or, oh, well, I came back to sport within six weeks,” says two-time Olympic gold-medallist, Meaghan Mikkelson.

Mikkelson knows a thing or two about ‘bouncing back’ after having children — she has returned to sport twice after giving birth, once following the Sochi Olympics, and again after the Olympics in Pyeongchang.

But it’s not as simple as giving birth, throwing on your runners, and beginning to train again. Anyone who has gone through labor can tell you that — yet the research and guidance on how to return to elite activity postpartum is inadequate.

“The interesting thing about pregnancy and postpartum, especially with elite athletes, is that we don't even have good evidence-based recommendations in terms of what is most appropriate,” said Dr. McHugh and Dr. Davenport from the University of Alberta, whose research focuses on women returning to sport post-pregnancy.

For athletes, whose careers depend on a deep understanding of their bodies, many find themselves in unchartered territory — navigating recovery and returning to training with minimal research to support their comeback, alongside a body that doesn’t function the way it did pre-pregnancy.

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“I think as an athlete, you're so used to doing something to your body. When you recover, you're like, I acknowledge the damage I've done — because I did it to my body and therefore, I must recover,” says Olympic rowing silver medallist Lindsay Jennerich. “But with pregnancy, it’s different — it's happening to me. Therefore, there's nothing to recover from because I didn't make a physical choice to damage myself. Ultimately, I'm underestimating that trauma on my body.”

Underestimating the physical trauma of giving birth is a position that many athletes find themselves in. “Our reviews were showing that postpartum individuals were actually coming back very early. Some are coming back a week after delivery, six weeks after delivery, and doing around 64 kilometers of running a week,” said McHugh and Davenport.

Kim Gaucher, who has been on the Canadian women’s basketball team since 2001, became pregnant a year out from the Tokyo Olympics — which gave her a limited window of time to recover and then try out for the Olympic team.

At 10 weeks postpartum she joined Team Canada camps and slowly worked her way back to full health, making the Olympic team and being named as team captain.

“It's so hard because you look at your body, and you're like, okay, it's amazing what you've been able to do, like, you birthed a human, that's exceptional. But then at the same time, when you're a high-performance athlete, you're so used to your body doing what you've trained basically your whole life to do. It just doesn't respond in the same way,” says Gaucher.

“You're like, I know I have to give it time. I know that it'll get there. But it's just so frustrating that it's not there now.”

Injuries From Coming Back Quickly

Like Gaucher, Mikkelson knows what it’s like to come back with such a short timeline. When Mikkelson returned to hockey after having her first child, she was trying out for Team Canada’s World Championship team — only four months postpartum.

“It actually ended up having one of the best camps of my career. And I think it's all the blur of being a new mom, I was still breastfeeding, my son was four months old, he was at the camp with me, up in the middle of the night, feeding him running back and forth from the rink to the hotel. So, I really didn't have a lot of time to think about being nervous,” says Mikkelson.

Many women report feeling physically able to begin training soon after giving birth. But one of the prevailing issues that new mothers face is, despite how they’re feeling, their bodies have changed and that requires a different level of care than pre-pregnancy — and without proper guidelines, many find themselves on the brink of injury.

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After Mikkelson made the team, she competed at the World Championships two months later, but injuries caught up with her. “At the World Championships, I was double groin wrapped. I had bursitis in my shoulder. I had tendinitis in my wrist, I was a mess. I was pulling my groin and throwing out my back, left, right, and center,” said Mikkelson.

When Mikkelson had her second child, she had a different experience. “I had a lot more time to come back after I had my daughter. I didn't have to be at camp until she was nine months old. I gave myself time, or my body, the time to heal. And I gave myself more time to come back. I had no injuries.”

Mikkelson’s two different experiences reflect what is now seen in the research, waiting longer to return can enhance your body’s ability to adapt under the stresses of activity. With more research being done on women returning to elite sport postpartum, athletes will soon have access to research-based guidelines that are more suitable — and sports organizations can learn from this research to better support athletes in returning to sport cautiously.

Looking Ahead

Although my story won’t end with an Olympic gold medal and a child — Jennerich assures me that when my time comes, I’ll be ready.

“The difference between training and having a child, is that your body is geared towards supporting you — your strength, your mentality, your focus, everything just takes over and it works in your favor,” says Jennerich.

Olympian Rower, Jill Moffatt, and teammate Jennifer Casson

And while the women I interviewed recalled the pressure to return and injures they endured, they also told beautiful stories of what it is like to be a mother and an athlete. They see themselves as any other working mother — but to me, they are much more than that. They are showing the world that a women’s athletic career is not defined by her womb, that women can do both.

And with researchers like McHugh and Davenport working in the background to help provide better research and resources for athletes, I feel confident that the future for women in sport is looking brighter.

Through the NOURISH Community Doula Training program, 20 Postpartum Doulas will be trained with certifications provided by the National Black Doula Association. The new program created by Knix and BWHI is called NOURISH for an important reason— it stands for New Opportunity to Uncover our Resources, Intuition, Spirit and Healing. And we’re so proud to be a part of this incredibly necessary program. 

Through our Life After Birth Project, we’ve continually committed to fostering community and building support for people navigating their postpartum journeys. But now more than ever, Black women experience limited in-person prenatal care, less support during labor, and more postpartum social isolation during their “Fourth Trimester”. Black birthing parents are less likely to be screened for postpartum depression, which makes this an especially vulnerable time. However, studies have shown that support from a doula can improve the chances of healthy birth outcomes and reduce maternal mortality. 

We’re so thankful we got to chat with BWHI’s Director of Maternal Health, Kanika A. Harris, PhD, MPH all about NOURISH, the importance of supporting Black birth workers, what kind of care Postpartum Doulas provide and why BWHI is asking the question— how do we get Black moms supported and listened to?

Meet Kanika and the Black Women’s Health Imperative. 

Hi Kanika, tell us a bit about BWHI and your role as Director of Maternal Health at BWHI.

BWHI has been around since 1983, started by Byllye Avery. It really started out of the need for reproductive justice and the need for Black women to have the necessary resources to support themselves and have access to healthy choices throughout their lives. 

One of the first things Byllye Avery did was start a gynaecological care centre in Gainesville, Florida in response to a failed petition to get a Planned Parenthood clinic in their community. So they were like, okay, we will make this happen for ourselves. And that’s been the mission of BWHI after all these years: to really support the physical, emotional, financial, and mental needs of Black women nationally across the US. And to make sure we are speaking to the lived experiences of Black women. 

I live and breathe maternal health. It’s what I do in my spare time, it’s what I do in my life— I’m the mom of 3 year old twins and an 8 year old son. I’m a near-miss survivor and a survivor of postpartum depression. And I am also a certified birth doula! I bring all those lived experiences to the table, along with the research and advocacy side of things. 

Why is postpartum care especially important for the Black community? 

When we’re talking about maternal mortality, we’re talking about deaths that happen up to one year after delivery. Sometimes a lot of people think maternal mortality means you’re dying during childbirth. That’s part of it, it accounts for about a third of deaths. But about one third of deaths also happen one week to one year postpartum. 

That postpartum period is overlooked. We call it the “Fourth Trimester” and it’s important in terms of postpartum depression. Postpartum depression can change the trajectory of a woman's life if it’s not treated. It can be a chronic situation for the mom and the family, and it can transform into other issues. 

Especially during COVID— moms are isolated. They don’t have family coming to help because of safety, especially grandparents, and that level of isolation when you have a new baby is just not good.  

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What kind of support does a postpartum doula provide? 

 They offer informational support, emotional support. There’s tangible support too— like helping around the house. Helping with a bit of tidying, helping to hold the baby while mom sleeps, helping the birth parent with feeding. Especially helping mom and baby bond and helping the family adjust to a new baby. Physically healing from delivery, talking through healing meals and nutrition. Helping the parents work through any issues postpartum. Maybe mom isn’t feeling well and she’s dismissing it. Postpartum doulas will help to advocate and help her speak up, or help her recognize if she needs a doctor’s visit sooner rather than later. Those are critical points where you can save a mom’s life. 

Living in the United States we have this idea that strength comes from figuring it out alone and by yourself. We put that on moms too. But no one in the world births in isolation. Birthing children and having children builds community. So we want to support building a community. Having help or getting a postpartum doula is not a sign of weakness, or that you’re doing anything wrong. This is what you’re supposed to have.  

What are some of the biggest issues Black women face when it comes to maternal health right now? How has COVID-19 played a role?

The issues Black women face when it comes to maternal health have spanned over decades. We have research to prove that education and income are not necessarily protective factors against maternal mortality or poor birth outcomes. Black women and birthing people are bearing the brunt of the maternal health crisis in the United States. The United States has the worst maternal health outcomes out of all developed nations.

Most of this is stemmed from the stress Black women experience in terms of racism in this country. And the reason it spans across socio-economic status is because you can be a Black lawyer— but the stress of becoming a lawyer and the stress of being the only person of color in the room is a lot. Those experiences of isolation, those stressors can lead to high risk pregnancies. 

On the flip side, there’s the stress of not having your basic needs met. Living in poverty, not having access to quality food or quality healthcare, environmental issues, poor air quality— these all contribute to high risk pregnancies. So we’re seeing it on both ends. 

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And then, just living in a country that doesn’t affirm who you are as a human being. Not seeing yourself represented. Seeing things like the George Floyd trial, the narrative of race and the devaluation of Black women— we’re experiencing situations where we’re not listened to, where we’re not believed, our pains and concerns are not taken seriously. And so when you’re talking about a life or death situation, we’re not making the cut. 

COVID-19 has really unveiled and lifted this cloak when it comes to maternal care, because you’re seeing now that mothers are getting even less maternal care. It’s been a situation where we’re losing moms during COVID because they have even less support. It amplified the need for doulas, amplified the need for better support and care, and has made us ask— how do we get moms heard and listened to? 

Why is it especially important to support Black birth workers? 

Health care providers are trained by a culture of gynaecological care that was built off of Black women’s bodies. Literally torturing Black women’s bodies. When you think of that level of disrespect from the founding fathers of gynaecological care in America, it’s so deep rooted in terms of how we’re trained to this day. 

There are levels of bias that we just can’t be aware of because of how we’re conditioned from the time we’re born. It’s so important to have more Black researchers, more Black doctors, more Black doulas that can advocate and ask the right questions— ask the questions we’re not thinking of as patients, listen to us and recognize cues. Having the representation in hospitals is a life or death issue right now. 

What are your hopes for the future of maternal health?

I always tear up when someone asks me this question. My hope is that my daughter is heard and listened to, that she lives in a space that affirms who she is and who she wants to be. That she lives in a space that is unburdened so she can birth a family and feel supported and she’s healthy. That her identity and her culture within that space of birth is heard and not questioned. She doesn’t have to walk into this process from a space of fear, a space of having to fight. A space where she will be getting sacred, respectful care. 

Click here to learn more about BWHI, and visit our Postpartum and Maternity Collection to help support NOURISH. 

A month after becoming ill with COVID-19 in March of 2020, I found out I was expecting my miracle baby, Wilder. Being amid a pandemic while also recovering physically, mentally, and emotionally, my support system was extremely limited and looked very different from what I had always imagined it would. This also meant attending all of my medical appointments and emergency room visits (a total of five during my pregnancy) alone — something that has continued into my postpartum journey.

Struggling to Self-Care Post-Pregnancy 

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I didn’t spend a great deal of time and energy thinking about what my postpartum experience would look like. And as someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety all of their life, I wish I could have prepared myself with more education and support in my after-birth experience. Due to the pandemic, I didn’t have a postpartum doula or any in-home support after my parents left, which was exactly two weeks after Wilder was born.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely had people offering their services and support, but the severe anxiety I felt around the idea of someone else coming into my home was so profound that it prevented me from accessing it. This is something I continue to struggle with to this day. 

I wholeheartedly believe that my career as a nanny, degree in child development, and experience as a family and household manager has allowed me to survive my first year of parenthood without in-person support. 

It’s OK To Be a Different Parent Than You Imagined

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Caring for other people’s babies has been very different than caring for my own — in ways that I didn’t quite expect. For example, I've helped many families sleep train their babies. Prior to giving birth, I had multiple cribs and a nursery decorated specially for Wilder. And wouldn’t you know, my baby has slept on my chest or in my arms every single night and nap of their life, aside from in the car. Not only that, but safely co-sleeping has become one of my absolute favorite parts of parenting. 

My postpartum journey has already taught me how important flexibility is, as well as how important it is to try new things when something isn’t working. I had ideas and expectations around how I was going to parent and, in many ways, how I actually parent is totally different. And that’s OK! 

Letting Go of the Pregnancy Glow

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Pregnancy and giving birth was a spiritual experience that fostered more self-love than I had ever dreamed possible, especially as a trans person. There has been a great deal of grief in losing that magical connection I had with my body while pregnant. 

Don’t get me wrong, I deeply love my body today, but we are still getting used to this new way of living in the world together. 

Images of transmasculine postpartum (or pregnant) bodies are not as readily available as many other postpartum bodies. There aren't as many written experiences to help find connection, which is why I show up and share my joys and challenges as both a trans person, as well as a single, first-time parent during a pandemic.

Finding Love For an Ever-Changing and Healing Body

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Now, I’m navigating my way through postpartum hormones, while also balancing beginning testosterone hormone replacement therapy for a second time since giving birth. Many trans birthing people who start hormones again after giving birth typically do so around three months postpartum. 

As a recovering addict navigating early recovery — in addition to postpartum depression and anxiety — I decided to wait until I was six months postpartum before trying to go back on testosterone. What I quickly found was that it increased my anxiety, depression, and irritability while decreasing my patience, which — as a single parent living in the woods alone with no support — was a red flag.

After being back on hormones for a month, I was faced with a decision: did I want to feel more OK in my body and stay on hormones, or stop and feel more OK mentally and emotionally? I made the decision to stop hormones. Although I still experience a great deal of body dysphoria due to being off of them, I feel much better mentally, emotionally, and spiritually — allowing me to show up as the best parent possible. 

I’ll try starting hormones again one day when I have more support in place, but until then I’m staying put in this body of mine and leaning into the love pregnancy taught me.

A Challenging (But Incredibly Rewarding) Adventure

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I thought pregnancy and giving birth was going to be the hardest part of becoming a new parent, but I was wrong. This first year since giving birth has absolutely knocked me down, squished any ego left in me, picked me back up, brushed me off, and shown me more joy than I could have ever imagined. 

I’ve done so many hard things in my life and becoming a parent is absolutely one of them. Becoming a parent has also been one of the most sacred, spiritual experiences I’ve ever embarked on. 

This past year, even in the struggle, has been the brightest time of my life.

Content Warning: This article mentions sexual violence.

100% of Knix and Carriage House Birth’s proceeds from Life After Birth will be donated to The Black Women’s Health Imperative to support the NOURISH program — a Postpartum Doula training program created in partnership with Knix that supports the needs of Black birthing families. 

The NOURISH curriculum was designed by the National Black Doula Association, and we were so grateful to sit down with its CEO & Founder, Tracie Collins. Meet Tracie. 

Hi Tracie! Tell us a bit about yourself and how you got into the doula field. 

I’ve been in this field for almost 22 years. I started in the year 2000 after I had my son. I started off as a doula then transitioned into midwifery about 2 years into my doula career. I studied, apprenticed and practiced in Oakland—  but I decided not to stay on the midwifery side after pretty much completing all my necessary requirements. Instead, I took everything that I learned and brought it  back to being a doula. 

I was able to successfully marry the foundations of midwifery and traditional midwifery (to be really specific), and blend it with people who are birthing in the hospital system that needed a doula. With my experience, I was able to support people birthing in homes, hospitals and in birthing centres. So much so, that I became known for and cemented as someone who did “quick births” —  quick natural deliveries that take 6 hours or less. 

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What I did was create a system in which I'd combine nutrition and other elements that put the body in the most efficient place for labour and delivery. This would result in having a healthier birthing person and a healthier baby in the end. And that’s what we want!

What led you to starting the National Black Doula Associations? 

Really simply—  something had to be done about the Black maternal health rate. So I founded the NBDA in October 2017 with 17 years already in the field. My initial thought was that it would just be a database that would pair Black and BIPOC birthing people with Black birthing professionals. Once I first started going live on Instagram, people started to get a taste of my personality, background, and my knowledge. And people would say to me—  we want you to train us. 

So, in 2019 I started creating a curriculum for the NBDA. We’ve quickly grown into the leading organization when it comes to training BIPOC birthing professionals. But also, we’ve created a system for BIPOC birthing families to be able to find support that looks like them—  people who understand the system they’re up against. 

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On the NBDA side, we’re really lucky to now have 11 trainers and nearly 300 members across the country who are listed in our directory. We have elevated the Black birthing professional and then at the same time, married that with helping families in our communities. 

People like that I say it like it is. I don’t have time to bite my tongue. We’re dying. And until we stop dying and things change, then I’m just going to call it like it is. Because we have work to do. 

Through Life After Birth, we focus quite a bit on the postpartum time period. What do postpartum doulas do? And why is that care especially important for Black birthing parents? 

When I started out in the field, there was no such thing as a postpartum doula. There were just birthing doulas. Over the course of time, postpartum doulas were implemented. But they were implemented incorrectly—  and I want to go on record saying this! 

The initial understanding of what a postpartum doula was is someone who comes in, helps mom and baby by cleaning the house, making meals, and running errands. And they all had different levels of certifications and training—  for example, some were night nurses, some were Certified Lactation Consultants who could support with breastfeeding. 

With that being said, there were no significant perimeters or definition of what a postpartum doula was. So when I created the Postpartum Doula Training, I knew I wanted to get in there and redefine it. 

From 0-3 months we’re helping parents successfully care for their baby and themselves. And we’re really specific about what that means. It means they’re a professional who is trained, certified (or in the certification process), and they come in with a plan of support. They understand why it’s so important that when working with Black and Brown birthing parents, they’re looking for postpartum danger signs. 

What are some of the signs postpartum doulas look out for? 

For example, we suffer from C-sections that can happen if they’re not giving us enough time to birth our baby—  if our voices are not being heard. This happens at a higher rate for us, and it increases the chance of having a pulmonary embolism. They’re also looking for postpartum preeclampsia. We teach our doulas how to look out for these warning signs, and how to help their clients and their partners exercise their voice to say: this hurts, this doesn’t feel right, this doesn’t look right. 

We don’t want them to just flower it. Black women don’t hire doulas for the luxury of it. They hire doulas so their lives can be saved, because they understand the bureaucracy of what they’re up against. We focus on how to pay attention, and how to go up against the Western system in order to save a life. 

Did you take this same approach in creating your other doula programs as well? There really is a doula for everything—  how did these trainings come about? 

The Birth Doula Training is a really beautiful combination of history. It’s the understanding of how obstetrics and gynaecology came to be, it’s the understanding of how Black bodies were used as experiments, it’s the understanding of science and evidence, and it’s learning the execution of business—   all wrapped into one.

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The Sex Doula Training came about because there’s such a disconnect with the body, especially if you've recently gaven birth. In birthing situations you’ll probably hear the phrase: I don’t want to look down there. Now, “down there” is a term I’m not too fond of. So, how do we bridge that gap? How do we help people see that sex is the thread through it all?

What we’re finding with the Sex Doula Intimacy Coach Training is that there are so many layers that people need to unpack just to realign themselves with their bodies. Especially with Black bodies—  we’ve been raped ever since we’ve been here. So there’s an automatic dissociation from a physical, and even a cellular DNA stand point with us. 

Even in the Holistic Fertility Doula Program, it’s like—   how do we focus this practice on a holistic point of view that helps to decongest the system? We understand that medicine can definitely play a part, we don’t negate that. It’s just not the only thing. 

You’ve helped there to be other options and more systems of support in place, it’s filling a very necessary need. That being said, what are some of the biggest issues Black women are facing when it comes to maternal health right now? 

Not being heard. Not being respected. And we don’t feel pain. The number one thing is we “don’t feel pain”. But if we can control the pain, we can control what’s causing the pain. But first, to control the pain—  that needs to be heard. 

Absolutely. Is that your hope for the future of Black maternal health? 

Well, we need to completely eradicate Western medicine. Point, period, blank. It’s based on the patriarchy, it’s based on a system of racism. So we need to completely annihilate it so we can build it up again from the ground up. And it needs to be built by people who are affected by the decisions made—  not by people without uteruses. We need to do that. When we talk about defunding the police and reforming housing laws, we also need to include conversations about Western medicine—  especially when it pertains to obstetrics and gynaecology. 

@nationalblackdoulas

@lifeafterbirth

Interview has been edited for length and clarity.

I am especially proud that 100% of the proceeds that Knix and Carriage House Birth receive from the book will go towards the NOURISH Postpartum program created in partnership with the Black Women’s Health Imperative. 

I first came up with the idea for Life After Birth when I was three days postpartum with my first child, Cole. Amidst a cloud of postpartum depression I was seriously struggling with breastfeeding - all the while wear-testing nursing bras that my team had designed. The irony was not lost on me. When I went to my personal Instagram page to share my struggles I was overwhelmed by the hundreds of messages I received in return. It turns out I wasn’t alone. In a world of picture perfect selfies, adorable Instagram babies dressed as little animals and the cringeworthy #blessed we had masked the real postpartum experience.  We so quickly forget that in those precious few moments of birth, you’re introduced to someone else entirely new. And it’s not your baby— it’s you. 

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Life After Birth didn’t start as a book, but rather a photography exhibit in Soho, Manhattan. The energy of opening night was unforgettable. The anticipation and nerves as we set up were running at an all time high. What would people think? Would it speak to them? What would become of this little passion project and message we needed the world to hear?

Joanna outside the Life After Birth gallery in New York.

Never in our wildest dreams could we have anticipated the response. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house— ours included. People spent hours combing through every photograph, reading every caption and reflecting on every story. It was immediately clear that every postpartum journey photographed was a window into the contributor’s soul, and people were genuinely drawn to these experiences. We knew we succeeded. We had built a connection; we had built a community.

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We created this project to change society’s postpartum narrative. Magazine headlines are dominated with stories of celebrities “bouncing back” and maternity leaves are shorter than ever. We talk about the “fourth trimester” but in doing so, are limiting that part of the journey to a mere 12 weeks. 

We believe in a different postpartum experience. Instead of viewing postpartum as a matter of days or weeks or months, we honored the experience for what it truly is and recognized that we are postpartum forever. 

We believe that the power of storytelling can help us change this narrative. 

In many ways, this book follows the path of the exhibit that started it all— a journey through hundreds of stories that takes you down the beautiful, messy, humbling and transformative road that is life after birth. 

We hope you find connection and comfort in the stories in the book from contributors from all over the world. We are so incredibly thankful to the more than 750 people that submitted their journeys to us. You brought this beautiful project to life. A special thank you to Christy Turlington, Amy Schumer, Jillian Harris and Jemima Kirke who trusted us with their stories and came on board when this project was just an inkling of an idea. And of course, we are especially grateful to Ashley Graham for her beautifully honest forward. 

One of the magical things about putting this project together was that we had no idea what to expect. But one thing became abundantly clear very early on— that the postpartum journey brings out a different side to who you are. It unlocks newfound strength, patience, love and resilience that you likely didn’t know existed. 

And that’s the beauty of being postpartum forever—  you get to take all of these transformative moments, teachings, and experiences and keep them with you through every other journey life throws at you. We can’t wait to hear what you think of the book and we can’t wait to see what you do in your Life After Birth. 

Much love,  Joanna

Honest as always is @thebirdspapaya— sharing a genuine, straightforward, joyous yet often messy glimpse of postpartum life. Sore nipples, newborn poop explosions, and adjusting to back to work life, Sarah has really bared it all— both educating and encouraging us all at once. 

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We were so excited to catch up with Sarah last week to check in on how she’s doing, and how she’s navigating her new chapter during the pandemic. So throw on your Papaya Leggings and read more about Sarah's postpartum experience, and learn about what she's proudest of so far. 

Hi Sarah! What are 3 things you wish you knew before giving birth during the pandemic? 

I wish I knew that even though the pandemic had created SO many changes for us, we could still have a beautiful birth and an experience that we loved.

I wish I knew that both life and a pandemic are truly unpredictable—  so try to not have a mental “end date”.  You’ll set yourself up for potential disappointment when things change and you don’t get an opportunity to do X,Y or Z.

I wish I knew that there would be grief for the things that WOULD have been if it weren’t a pandemic. And that grief is very okay to have.

Has your postpartum experience been different because of it?

It’s been hard to not share Lemmie in person with people that we love. But being at home more really did lend itself to our own time as a family to bond, and gave me an opportunity to heal. I feel like I recovered better than I would have otherwise. 

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What are some ways you were able to find community during this time? 

Online community is amazing! I have never been more grateful. I never felt alone. Not for a minute. I found birth podcasts and talking to those who gave birth in a pandemic were so, so valuable to helping me grasp what was ahead.

What's something new you've learned about your body recently? 

At my last midwife appointment, I was asking about certain things that still felt off about me— things like stiffness and soreness. She told me (and I learned) that pregnancy and birth recovery is not just a 6-week journey. It’s actually more like a year, so that definitely made it feel less daunting. It felt like, “I’m okay, I’m doing what I’m supposed to. My body is too”. 

From our Life After Birth Project, Sarah reflects on being postpartum: "It took almost a decade to stop feeling ashamed of my softness, my stripes, my scars. ⁣And to start seeing and owning my strength, my power, my worth"

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What are you proudest of right now?

I think I’m just incredibly proud that as someone who ended up with really difficult prenatal depression, that I sought help. I fought for my mental health and honored my feelings through changes in physical health during my pregnancy—  even when it was difficult. I’m really glad that I let myself feel all the feels and didn’t just try and brush them off.

All 📸  from @thebirdspapaya. Follow along with Sarah for cute Lemmie pics, and to join her amazing community of incredibly supportive people. 

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Last year, I watched a video of a man being arrested outside a store, pinned to the ground by the knee of a police officer. That video stirred the nation, the world, and opened the eyes to police brutality in the Black community, racism and the Black Lives Matter movement.

As I watched the news coverage, I looked over at my 2 sons and began to cry. Thoughts raced through my mind. When will their first overt experience with racism be? How will they react? What will their futures be like? How do I talk to them about this? 

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Because the truth is, it could have easily been them at that store. When they’re older, I can picture it so clearly: they’re hanging out with their friends, showing off, speaking loudly, catching the attention of police, being pinned down, possibly killed. I had thoughts no mother should have. Unfortunately, these are thoughts that every Black mom in America has, constantly.

I want to raise my boys to be loving and tolerant of everyone. This has become increasingly difficult for me, knowing that they will not be treated that way in return.

The best I can do (and what we all can do) is instill confidence, strength, and self worth. Teach them to be unbothered by the actions of others, because the actions of others do not determine who they are. 

What you tell your children about themselves is what they will believe. My sons are now 8 and 6. I want them to believe they are living in a beautiful world where they will be accepted and appreciated. But that will not always be the truth. So as parents, what do we do?

You might think that approaching the topic of racism with your child is going to be difficult. And any approach needs to be age specific, which might make this seem even harder.

It’s not complicated though. The bottom line is— simple decency and goodness starts at an early age.

Teaching kids about cultural differences promotes tolerance.

Teaching kids not to be bullies, and to show kindness promotes acceptance.

Teaching kids has a lot to do with your own actions too. Be aware of your own biases as an adult, and how you interact and respond to others— kids watch your every move. 

Black leaders have been fighting for equality and justice since before I was born.  And unfortunately, racism and intolerance (in some kind of form) will be around when I die. As a Black parent to Black sons, this is a great disappointment and burden to my children.

At the end of the day, we can change laws, but if we do not change attitudes, perceptions and behaviors then very little has changed at all. And it all starts with teaching tolerance to our kids. 

@dianneallmanrn

While it’s more ‘mainstream' news now (shout out to NPR and The New York Times), it has been a long time truth that Black Mothers have the highest mortality rates in the Western World. Some years ago I gleaned that, where I live in New York City, maternal mortality rates are 13x higher amongst black women. Learning this just shortly before I gave birth to my daughter, was very sobering. I was lucky enough to have had access to a doula. Shout out to the wonderful Chanel Porchia of Ancient Song Doula Services in Brooklyn and to my doula and dear friend Christine Mahoney of Obeah Woman Botanicals. 

Throughout a great majority of my pregnancy I had experienced being slighted so terribly by nurses and doctors that I made it a point to change my provider at 32 weeks. One particular experience, reflecting my invisibility in these spaces, was having a nurse ask me to take a pregnancy test— even though I had been there three times previously. Not to mention, I was already five months pregnant. After desperate research for a Black midwife, and an OBGYN of color, I made the switch happen. It was after this community reboot occurred that things drastically improved. A change in the community that provided care for me was key to giving me a birth story that many women do not have the chance to tell. 

My doula Christine was useful in providing education about what my resources were, and clueing me in to holistic alternatives for physical and mental wellness. Her newfound care emboldened me to sign up for affordable prenatal yoga, which was monumental in helping me treat painful pregnancy sciatica. I was able to tackle less tangible things, like having a realistic approach to my diet. I was given food journals, and was able to meaningfully reflect about my experiences as a pregnant person with her. Despite not having traditional support (#singlemom alert), I was able to lean on my doula emotionally, spiritually and physically. 

For my actual six hour labor, I was blessed to find a midwife, who was a direct reflection of me, as she was also a Haitian Black woman. My birth was rapid, which was unusual for a first-time delivery. I was afraid and worn out, and just as I was going to try to give in to an intervention, my midwife Sabine Juedy was able to keep me grounded, and got me together. Overall, I realized just how lucky I was to have been saved from an experience that could have been fatal. I was able to survive because I had a community who were truly invested in my highest good, and worked hard through postpartum care.

Oftentimes, folx confuse the kind of maternal support roles there are. A doula is very different from a midwife. A midwife can often be juxtaposed to a doctor, as they are medically trained to deliver, and if absolutely necessary perform any emergency surgical duties. Doulas deal with emotional, mental, physical and oftentimes moral/spiritual support. I am a full-spectrum doula, dealing with all kinds of maternal care, including abortion, bereavement, labor and postpartum work. My current focus is postpartum work which can include regularly checking in with the parent(s). The time just after delivery is critical as many Black and Brown folx experience “baby blues” and postpartum depression. 

In the Black community, postpartum depression is not something readily discussed, and is often overlooked because of distractions in environmental and economic disparities. Sometimes postpartum work can look like mild therapy, or cooking a meal or even helping a parent take a nap! This work drastically varies depending on the doula, and the needs of the client. It is imperative that Black and Brown pregnant people have care that provides them a safe space to truly be listened to and supported. Everyone deserves an environment that reflects their values and needs. It should be noted that postpartum care does not look one way and can span from 6 weeks after birth to two years after birth. It’s important to also consider the value of doulas and midwives who are a part of LGBTQIA+ communities. The more intersections that are reflected in healthcare, the more likely it is that no one gets left behind.

I believe we all have a responsibility to ensure that all people are treated with tenderness. 

Support your local organizations. Do research on what grassroots organizations contribute meaningfully to the communities of color near you. If you are not a person of color, consider how your voice can amplify these issues. Consider how your access can lead to others finding resources they never knew could be afforded to them. If you are not a person of color, consider how your intersection can create visibility for the Black folx around you. 

Evaluate what you can contribute. Donate money, supplies or time. In Brooklyn, places like Ancient Song Doula SERVICES are aimed to serve Black Women and Women of Color in wonderful capacities, including community doula trainings. There are organizations like the Black Doulas Association that provide access to doulas that specifically reflect the communities they intend to serve. 

Petition for Health Care Providers to provide stipends for doula care, as most of this work is underfunded. Most importantly, find ways to connect with your local government about pushing through legislation that allows for doulas to be paid with insurance, instead of out of pocket. The more we use our will and privilege to provide access to others, the more we can see a world that is reflective of love and unity we all desire. After all, it truly takes a village.

Be Well
Cat Francis (She/Her/They)
@catfranciscatfrancis
@temperanceandwellness 

Through this, Knix met Colleen Strong— who describes herself as a fearless Harley-riding Grandma. In 2012, Colleen was diagnosed with breast cancer after receiving her first mammogram after turning 50, and soon after had a double mastectomy. We were absolutely honored that she would share her story with us, and bare all for the Age Doesn’t Matter Campaign. You can read more about Colleen here. 

We recently caught up with Colleen to see what life’s been like after being in a commercial seen all across North America (no big deal)! 

It's been a few months since the commercial filmed, what have you been up to since? 

We’ve been busy! We had just sold our businesses and embarked on a 6 week celebration trip when COVID struck. I had a surgery scheduled to remove one of my breasts because of a recalled implant which was cancelled. It’s been an adjustment for sure but the silver lining is we are able to provide childcare for our 18 month granddaughter when my daughter’s maternity leave ended and the daycare wasn’t open yet. 

What was it like seeing yourself on TV? 

It was a shock! I didn’t realize the ad was going to transition to TV and I got an excited text from a friend saying they had seen it. Everyone kept messaging me saying they’d seen it but it took me a couple of days to actually see it myself. When I saw it for the first time I was sitting with my husband and he got very emotional because he was so happy for me and proud. 

What has the reaction from people been like? 

It’s been overwhelmingly positive. So many women responded how exciting it was to see older women validated and celebrated. My family was really excited although I’m not sure my son or brother were prepared to see me that exposed 😂

What's been the most memorable part of the experience? 

There was so much that was memorable. Meeting all the incredible bad-ass women was amazing. At one point in the shoot I looked out and noticed that almost all of the production crew were women. I was so proud of Joanna and the Knix team for choosing to give opportunities to women. 

So... would you ever model for Knix again? 

Yes please!!!  My surgery to remove my tattooed breast is rescheduled for July 27th. Once I’m healed and my tattoo is repaired I’d love to represent the “Unicorn” ladies (women with a single breast post-mastectomy)!

Thanks Colleen, we love and appreciate you! Follow along with Colleen's journey here and watch her amazing interview on set below. 

Two years ago today, these words by the incredible Mari Andrew sparked emotional stories, healing and growth within our Knix community. From it, the Faces of Fertility campaign stemmed, and from there The Life After Birth Project blossomed. Read on to learn about these special initiatives that are so near to our hearts. 

Faces of Fertility 

Last year, Knix launched the Faces of Fertility podcast for one simple reason— we don’t speak openly enough about our fertility journeys. Through this podcast, Knix CEO and founder Joanna Griffiths and health journalist Katherine Flemming lift the veil on some of the most stigmatized fertility topics such as surrogacy, miscarriage, pregnancy loss and infertility. Through interviews and storytelling, Faces of Fertility aims to make these experiences a little less isolating. You can check out the first season on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and you can learn more about the podcast here. 

The Life After Birth Project

The Life After Birth Project was initially a travelling gallery that highlighted postpartum journeys, as well as the stories that honor the transformative and unique experience of giving birth. Touring everywhere from Toronto to LA, we were honored to share all of your eye-opening and emotional stories with the world. You can still be part of the experience by visiting our digital gallery here. A growing project that normalizes and honors postpartum experiences, we are excited to see LAB forever evolve. 

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We are so proud to be part of so many of your motherhood journeys. Between your emails, DM’s, and stories submitted for the Life After Birth Project, we love growing alongside you. Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at Team Knix! 

Follow Knix on Instagram @Knixwear, and join the conversation about postpartum life on @LifeAfterBirthProject. 

Between raising two boys and working, we’re still not totally sure how she found time to check in with us (moms really are magic), but we’re so glad she did. Meet Dianne. 

Can you tell us a bit about what you do, and why you got into nursing in the first place? 

I am an acute dialysis nurse at NYU Winthrop in Mineola, NY. I administer dialysis treatments to patients in end stage renal failure. Dialysis is a purification of blood, a substitute for normal kidney function. I chose the nursing profession because it is a career that makes a difference, and something I’ve always wanted to do. It is also fairly flexible, allowing me to balance family and work life.

How has your day to day changed since COVID-19? 

My day to day has drastically changed since the onset of COVID-19, both at work and at home. I spend a lot more time at work now and our workload has increased tremendously. I spend all day at work 7am-7pm, dialyzing patients in the COVID units and ICUs. My days off are spent with my family, paying attention to the kids and their school work and time with hubby. I try to make the day as normal as possible for the kids, even though they know things are strange right now. They miss school, they miss their friends and their routine—their day to day has been impacted as well.

While you’re working all of these extra hours (thank you!), you’re also the mom of 2 adorable little boys. We bet that wasn’t the easiest task even before the pandemic. How has it been managing motherhood? 

Yes, you are so right! Motherhood is never easy, pandemic or not. This pandemic has just proven so far that as a mom, you are everything to your kids. When schools close, you become the teacher. When boredom sets in, you become creative. When the world stands still, it is up to you to keep it going for their sake. Parenting has definitely been challenging so far, but it is important to keep it calm for your children. I’m so lucky to have an amazing husband and supportive teachers throughout all this. Moms definitely need a support system at this time, and I’ve been very lucky. I’ve been battling with more guilt than the usual ‘mom guilt’ because of more hours at work, but I know it’s not permanent.

Tell us about your kids! What are they like? What are their favourite things? What do you hope for them? 

My two boys definitely keep me on my toes! They're 7 and 5 (soon 6). They are very active boys but such different personalities. My oldest Ethan, is so outgoing, friendly and super witty. My little guy Cameron can be very shy and so loving. They make a good team, they fight but stand up for each other. They enjoy each other’s company— something I’m so happy for especially during this time. They love arts and crafts, dinosaurs, vanilla ice cream and LEGO! I want everything to be amazing for my children, but the bottom line is, I want them to be happy no matter what they do. And whatever they do, I want them to be confident. Happiness and Confidence.

Is there anything you’re excited to do with them after this slows down? 

Well, our Jurassic Park Live world tour got cancelled due to the pandemic. I would love to do that with them, as we were all looking forward to it. Also plenty of beach and pool time. My kids love the beach.

As the weather starts getting warmer, more and more people will want to start venturing outdoors-- especially if they have kids. From your perspective, why is it so important to us to follow #StayHome orders?

It is imperative to follow #StayHome orders to flatten the curve, slow the rate of infection, and prevent the spread of the virus to others. A person could carry the virus and not be symptomatic, and transmit it to someone more susceptible, who will develop serious symptoms. It is also important to stay home to give us (healthcare workers and hospitals) a chance to win the battle. Staying home prevents spikes in infections and admissions, thus ensuring we have the resources and equipment to fight this.

Thanks Dianne— both for sharing with us and for working on the front lines during this time. To follow Dianne's journey (and to see more of her cute kids), check her out here

Almost a year later, we caught up with one mom who joined us to see how new motherhood is treating her, what her fertility journey was like, and what it's like to be a postpartum and gender non-conforming mom. Meet Sophia! 

You were pregnant when we saw you last, how has life been since then?

It's been quite the roller coaster of emotions. I gave birth in September after a few days of various induction methods, 7 attempts at an epidural, and finally a C-section. We have a baby girl who is now 7 months and a 5 year old son. After giving birth I was not prepared for the emotions. Even though I witnessed my wife give birth, I was shocked. There were times that I sobbed for no reason and could not recognize some of the sounds of my own cries. I could not understand what was happening to me, even though I knew rationally that my body was processing a lot of hormones.

I was also swollen through the third trimester and was told it would get worse before better when I left the hospital but on day 4 my swelling started to get worse. Then my breathing became impacted. I asked those around me and it was chalked up to anxiety. One week postpartum at 3 AM, my wife called 911. 

The paramedics assessed and didn't seem to think anything was wrong and one mentioned anxiety. I was alone and terrified. The first nurse that I met told me that I had the baby blues, took my blood, and told me to sit on a chair in the corner. A chair? I had a c-section one week ago! I went to the nurses station and had to advocate for myself until someone heard me. Magically, a room was empty and I was given a bed. 

After a series of X-rays, CT scans, and an echocardiogram, I was told that I had congestive heart failure and litres of fluid in my lungs. I was admitted at 10 PM to the cardiac intensive unit for them to understand what was going on. Finally, a diagnosis: postpartum preeclampsia. I was in the hospital for 3 days, 3 days without my brand new baby. She was just in me and now I was separated from her. She was too new and I couldn't give her what she needed from me.

Thankfully my wife could be with her and our son and my friends and mom could be with me. I was not prepared for my heart to fail and for my body to change so much. I was not prepared to feel like my body failed. For 6 weeks I remained on blood pressure medication and was full of anxiety and guilt beyond that. I was afraid that I would fail my family. But my wife, my friends, and my therapist got me back on track. Seven months later I am healing and loving every (ok *almost* every) moment with our new addition.

What was your fertility journey like?  

Ah fertility, that is something that I took for granted! As I mentioned earlier my wife and I share 2 kids and she gave birth to our first. We chose her to carry first because I was not entirely sold on becoming pregnant and she is older than me (sorry babe!). It took her longer than we expected but within the "average time for heterosexual couples" to get pregnant. 

During her pregnancy, my desire to be pregnant and feel a human grow became strong. It was the science of it that drew me in. I wanted to know what it felt like to feel the baby punch and kick from the inside. So we decided that I would give it a go. Given that we knew it would take some time I started to try when our son was 9 months old. We had grandiose plans of their age difference and time off together because she was going to be on sabbatical. I went in so cocky. I was proud of my "fresh, young eggs" (relative to my wife). In medical speak though, I was almost a geriatric patient (ok not totally, I was 33 so not a spring chicken). I didn't get pregnant. 

Years passed on and month after month, I faced only rejection. I did everything that I could using Western (repeated IUIs, IVF, etc.) and Eastern (acupuncture, boat loads of natural pills, no caffeine, no sugar, etc.) medicine. Three years later we decided that we would go back to my wife. But there was also the option of using her eggs and I carry, so I had another chance. I was excited and sad at the same time. I could possibly carry but I would not have a "mini-me" through genetics. My wife went through the egg retrieval and after waiting we learned that we had only one embryo. 

I lost all hope of carrying because it did not make sense for me to carry when my wife had a proven, successful pregnancy. We sat down with the doctor who told us that it did not matter which body the embryo went into. My wife, being the incredible human that she is, said that she wanted me to go for it so long as I wouldn't punish myself if it didn't work. We agreed I would try, but there were still a few tests to "pass". Upon further testing, there was evidence of possible endometriosis. The doctor treated me for two months for the inflammation and then we went in for the embryo transfer. Nine days later and after a dozen home pregnancy tests we confirmed the pregnancy! It was quite the experience and there are still pangs of sadness about the genetic piece or that my body somehow failed me but then I remind myself that my body is a warrior and fought for me and the kids look like me!

Can you speak a bit about some of the challenges of pregnancy and parenting as a queer, gender nonconforming person?

One of the biggest challenges of pregnancy as a queer, gender nonconforming person honestly is my chest. I didn't expect it to get much larger, especially since I was not breast/chest feeding. I never bonded with my boobs, didn't really want them and now they are there and bigger and I hate them. Clothing does not sit right, the way that I want it to— flat. 

Another challenge for me personally was the need for people to want to touch my body. I never understood nor had the desire to touch pregnant people and now was faced with people noticing my body. It became visible to people, feminine, and all of a sudden my body was one that people felt they had permission over. I declined all requests to touch me and made some people really stop in their tracks— shocked and confused.  In addition to my body being noticed, clothing on my body became confusing and difficult. Everything in the beginning was flowy or flowery. Definitely not me! Eventually I found a great mix of T-shirts, slim maternity pants, and blazers that allowed me to feel as me as I could through the pregnancy. That ended up becoming a source of joy— the ability to rock my oxfords, and blazers while pregnant and stay as true to my style as I could.

Photo By: Zurry Donevan 

As a parent, I am fortunate to feel the same joys and challenges as gender conforming individuals. I was afraid that I would be judged as not a "real parent" but no one has treated me any differently than my wife when referring to our kids. I think people may question our roles when they see us but no one has questioned us directly.

What’s your favorite part about being a parent? 

Kid laughter. Hearing and seeing my kids laugh is my favourite. There's a joy I feel when I see their eyes twinkle with happiness. Also, watching Star Wars and playing with lightsabers with my 5 year old is a close runner up. 

Describe your kids to us! What are they like, what are their favorite things? 

My 5 year old is a witty, sharp, energetic kid. He is curious, loves going on adventures to find new beach glass and sticks, and is a very proud big brother. He loves Lego, his stuffed dog from Ikea that he named Marley, and riding his bike. He just started JK and really enjoyed (we're in a pandemic now) school. He's also a typical 5 year old who tells you that you don't know anything and has an answer for everything but is learning to genuinely apologize when he breaks something.

We are getting to know our 7 month old everyday. She loves food, especially avocados, sweet potatoes, and green beans. She's very vocal, probably because she's competing with her brother for attention! She has the best laugh and is so far easy to please.

You run an Instagram account that chronicles your journey with genderfluid fashion. What are your hopes for the fashion industry in terms of options especially for genderfluid individuals who are also pregnant or postpartum?

Thank you for mentioning my new Instagram account @sd.apper

My hope for the fashion industry is acknowledgement that genderfluid people exist, that we like clothes, and also go through a host of changes with our bodies and want clothing to follow in the journey. I did not want to use a rubber band to hold my pants together in pregnancy, I wanted pants that were slim, felt tailored, and dress shirts that accommodated my pregnant body. I didn't want to wear clothing from the men's section for style in an awkward size and I definitely did not want flowy and flowery for my new body. I just wanted a dress shirt that made room for my womb but let me button up to my neck. 

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A post shared by Sophia Dhrolia (@sd.apper) on Apr 10, 2020 at 12:51pm PDT

Postpartum is all about high rise. I never appreciated the genius behind high rise bottoms. I find it extremely hard to find any dress pants and chinos that are slim and high rise! High rise underwear also felt like I stole my grandmother's undies until I discovered the Knix High Rise! I wish brands would think of genderfluid styles without labels and just offer more sizing. Maybe do more research into what genderfluid individuals look for and soft launch styles that would accommodate various bodies. I would absolutely love it if I could go into a store or online and shop for pants according to my size and curves and be offered styles that everyone can choose from. My perfect filter is: Pants, Slim or Skinny, and High rise (including joggers!). For shirts, a button down that accommodates my chest with a sports bra and a curvy waist but not accentuate these features. Is that too much to ask for?

Thanks for sharing Sophia! Be sure to follow along on Sophia's journey here. 

Your picture and story was one of the initial ones shared in the Life After Birth Project. Tell us about the photo! What inspired you to submit your story to us?

I submitted a photo of myself for the LAB Project with just my mid-section only, no face showing. There was reasoning behind it. I have Crohn's-Colitis and my disease had spread so fast that I was given an Ileostomy on my abdomen. It saved my life. I repeat, I would not be alive if it wasn't for this little intestine poking out through my belly! So I wanted to praise it and show it to the world. I didn't show my face, because to anyone else going through Ostomy surgery or fighting Crohn's, I wanted them to be able to picture their face on my body. I was inspired by myself to be honest. I wanted to inspire myself with my own courage to bare it all!

You’ve been so open about your experience with Crohn’s-Colitis and having an ileostomy. Can you tell us about your experience? Has it impacted you as a mom? 

I choose to be open about living with C&C because my end goal is to help others who are suffering in silence, who are scared, and who don't know how to accept themselves and love their new bodies. I feel just as sexy now as I did pre-surgery—probably more actually, because now I can thoroughly enjoy all the activities I do without fear and mapping out where all the bathrooms are. 

C&C has impacted being a mom immensely. I am chronically exhausted 24 hours a day, because of the nature of my insides. I don't absorb much of anything when it comes to vitamins and I'm deficient in a lot of things which drains my energy very quickly. Let’s just say LOTS of coffees get sipped up in my daily routine. 

I’m always trying to teach my kids about my illness, my daughter finds it fascinating. I’m always aware of where my kids are when we play too— I can never have a hand off my tummy when there are jumping kids! Or if one of them puts too much pressure on my stomach, I could pop my intestine out and prolapse it. I’m very, very cautious. Crohn's all in all has made raising kids hard, but it’s very manageable. I just have to pick my battles to fight each day to save energy for them! 

Describe your kids to us! 

My kids. Oh my, where do I start with my daughter Sky? She's 3.5 going on 10. She is all emotions at once, she is fearless, and so so comfortable in her own skin. She is always singing, always dancing, and always telling you that she loves you. Most of all, Sky is compassionate. She is always making sure that I’m okay, and when Crohn’s is giving me a hard time, she's the first one there trying to make me feel better. My favourite thing about Sky would be her ability to make everything fun and exciting. At least 3 times a week at dinner time she will stand up and yell BEST DINNER EVERRRRR. Her presence has to be known wherever she goes. 

My son Jax is 1.5, and he is a sweetie pie. He is gentle, soft, and a cuddle monster. Whenever I need a little love he's there and pursing his lips for kisses, oh my god does he love to give kisses! He's kind, caring and shy. My favourite thing about Jax is his heart, he's such a softy. His hair is pretty amazing too! I haven't had the heart to cut it yet, it’s a long blonde mullet. He's going for the "Jax Teller" look from Sons of Anarchy! 

Do you have any tips on how to balance home life under these current circumstances? 

Balancing life during COVID is difficult, as I’m sure it is for most families. Just before COVID hit, I was diagnosed with pretty bad depression. My doctor suggested I take a small trip with my husband away from family life as a little break (I’ve been a stay at home mom for years now). We never took a honeymoon so we figured this trip would make up for it. Days after we booked, the world stopped turning, so we had to cancel it. It’s like the universe heard that I needed some alone time and said, "Hold my beer"!

Stuck in my house with depression and my kids, you can assume some days are dark— but funny enough, most of them are great! I make sure that at least once a day the entire family goes outside on a walk or plays in the fresh air together. There’s also a lot of Disney+ streaming. 

Can you tell us why it’s so important (to you especially) for everyone to #StayHome if they can?

It’s especially important to me that people stay home if they can because I have an extremely low immune system. It’s barely hanging on by a thread. When COVID was showing up in places nearby, my husband (who works for the family business), stopped going to work in fear of getting me sick. I wouldn’t be able to fight it off. In this situation I am very blessed that he works for my parents! Our business is considered essential, so in any other circumstance he wouldn’t be able to leave. 

I catch the common cold first, and it hits me the hardest. From there, I catch everything that’s around. I think I’ve been sick for the past 7 Thanksgivings, Halloweens and Christmases, so it’s very rare that I’m not sick. I’m staying home for me, and for everyone else that has low immunity. We just can't fight the way a normal functioning body can.  

What’s your favorite part of being a mom?

My favorite part of being a mom is that I’m honoured to be my kids’ safest place to hide. When they get hurt or when they fall down, I get to be that safe place for them to come to. There’s no other feeling like it in the world.

In partnership with Carriage House Birth, the Life After Birth Project is a travelling gallery that highlights women’s postpartum journeys, as well as the stories that honor their transformative birthing experiences. 

During a sit-down with Refinery29, Joanna explained that she wanted to share a new kind of message with moms: “You are perfect as you, you are supported, and you are seen."

This is the moment that gave birth to the growing project of not only normalizing postpartum experiences, but honoring them as well: 

"I took this photo during a hospital visit with a lactation consultant three days postpartum. She told me my breasts were the same size and just as hard as "soccer balls" and handed me two ice packs to help with the swelling. 

Elsewhere across town in those same few minutes, a team member stood in for me as we were honored with one of our biggest industry awards to-date. Mentally it was a battle. I could build a company, but I was struggling to feed my child. I felt like such a failure. The nurse provided me with nipple shields, something I knew nothing about but saved me during that first month. 

Every image of breastfeeding I had seen the women looked natural, at peace and happy. I shared this photo and my sentiments on Instagram and was overwhelmed when over 100 people responded with their own struggles. In that instant, the idea for the Life After Birth Project was born. In that moment, my eyes were opened."

~~

Earlier this month, The Life After Birth Project kicked off in NYC with an exhibit that included the stories of 250 women who boldly shared their birth and postpartum experiences. Some of these women include Amy Schumer, Jemima Kirke, Jillian Harris and Ricki Lake. And we aim to grow the conversation and expand these narratives as the gallery travels across North America.

Our goal? 1000 submissions from beautiful, strong, powerful givers of life. 

After wrapping up a successful tour in Toronto, we continued the conversation in Los Angeles atThe Riveter (@theriveterco). 

We still want you to be part of it. To share your own photos with the Life After Birth Project, tag @lifeafterbirthproject and use the hashtag #LifeAfterBirth, or email lifeafterbirth@knix.com.

But it’s also beautiful. And extraordinary. And exciting. And above all...parenthood is funny. Between surprise poop bombs to all the “kids say the darnest things” moments, having a little one means you’re always seconds away from LOLing. 

Check out some of the most 😂 worthy tweets about being a new parent from some fabulously fierce celeb moms. 

(Hey @chrissyteigen, next time you won't have to! Check out our leakproof CoreLove High Rise undies) 

We're not here to tell new moms what to do. You probably get enough of that already. But our one and only tip? Shop the Knix Maternity and Postpartum line. 

Thank you to all of these very special women who have shared their personal postpartum stories, all while continuing to empower and inspire us at Knix. 

Meg Boggs, @meg.boggs

"But a body like mine IS a postpartum body.⁣ And I deserve to celebrate it.⁣ And I will continue to do so”

Sarah Nicole Landry, @thebirdspapaya

“In my vulnerable state of sharing, it opened me up to the beauty and normalization of the most amazing things, and the most beautiful bodies” 

Desiree Fortin, @theperfectmom wearing our Leakproof undies

“And as expected my body changed quite drastically. But I also changed. I see more beauty now than I ever have before in my own flesh and skin"

Anupa King, @denupzter

Knix: Alana, tell me about the first time you met Gray.

Alana: Going into the relationship, I was very mindful of how that was going to impact Gray. I was introduced as a friend at [first] and shortly after that, when it was appropriate, Bianca shared that she had been seeing someone new and it was her friend (me) that she had met. From there it started to naturally evolve, but it took some time. Gray is a very intuitive individual who up to that point had had a lot of loss and heartbreak and was hesitant to let me in. She didn’t feel entirely ready to open up and introduce a new person into her life.

Knix: What was it like stepping into the role of mother? What is your relationship like with Gray?

Alana: She calls me “Mah.” For a lot of the time, I was doing the labour and the work of a mom, but I felt invisible because I wasn’t the biological mother. With my immediate family, I’m still struggling to get my parents on board to understand that this is my child and this is my family.

Knix: Now you are planning to have a child together. Are you excited about the idea of carrying a baby?

Alana: In the last few years, I have felt like it’s a piece I’ve been missing out on. I feel like this is something I connect with because I challenge gender norms and what it means to be a woman [in that I present as androgynous]. Like any normal person, I’m scared sh*tless about it, but I also have one of the best doulas in the city (Bianca!) to support me in any kind of birth experience I want, which is super supportive in quelling any fears.

Knix: How do you think the dynamic will change in your home when you bring another child into the family?

Bianca: Gray is counting down the minutes! She is adamant that she wants brothers and sisters. I’m scared sometimes about not being the birth mother. We have our fears but we talk about them and just cross our fingers and hope that it will work out okay.

Alana: If anything, it might strengthen all of our relationships. And deepen my empathy. Sometimes I feel bummed that I missed out on that newborn part with Gray and I want to experience it for myself. As much as I do all the work and labour of an engaged mom, there are times when I feel like an imposter or not a “real” mom, even though I am a real mom. It’s interesting how heavily we still value biology.

Knix: Bianca, do you want to talk about your hysterectomy? How do you feel about having a second child that you won’t be carrying?

Bianca: It’s been a huge loss for me. I am in my first six months post-op and I still feel so connected to it, even though it was a diseased uterus. It’s been challenging and I made Alana promise she was going to have babies for us. I am still getting used to the emotional healing, knowing that I could never have another baby and losing that part of my femininity— which is something that I’m championing now. The interpretation of what women and couples look like is always changing and there is always room to learn more and do better.

[Gray enters the room].

Knix: Gray, what’s it like having two moms?

Gray: It’s really fun. It’s kind of awkward in social situations because it feels weird, saying I have two moms. I don’t feel like I’m accepted as well when people know I have two moms.

What’s Gray’s advice for any kids going through the same thing?

For all those kids out there who have families outside the heteronormative model, if you find yourself left out in social situations and your friends are being mean to you, then find some new friends. If people are teasing you about your family, it has nothing to do with you. It means that your friends need support around learning about this topic - and it’s not your job to educate them. You and your family are perfect the way you are.

To learn more about Bianca and Alana’s work, visit bebomia.com or check out Bianca’s blog.

And to learn more about using inclusive and gender diverse language, check out the following resources:

https://www.bebomia.com/actually-inclusive-put-biz-test/
https://www.bebomia.com/diverse-families-certification/
https://www.rainbowhealthontario.ca/resources/media-reference-guide-discussing-trans-and-gender-diverse-people-2/

We want to meet your family. Share your stories with us at stories@knixwear.com.