Being a New Parent is Hard, Postpartum Doulas Are Making it Easier
Scrolling through Instagram, you’re likely to come across rosy-hued and picture-perfect images of new moms and parents with their newborns and babies. But beyond the filters and snapshots of little ones sleeping peacefully is a postpartum journey that’s often fraught with sleepless nights and the steep learning curve of becoming a new parent.
Over the past few years, a shift has taken place: new parents have taken to social media to showcase the realities of the postpartum period, cultural notions of “bouncing back” have become increasingly shunned, and the phase that’s come to be known as the “fourth trimester” is — little by little — becoming demystified.
Our very own CEO, Joanna Griffiths, even authored Life After Birth in which a tapestry of portraits of early motherhood illustrate what life is really like after birth. While we tend to focus our attention on the arrival of a baby, the book illuminates the transformations that take place during the postnatal period.
In peeling back the layers of this beautiful and raw transition from pregnancy to parenthood, many important gaps have also come to light. The maternal death rate, for one, continues to disproportionally affect Black birthing families — with 52% of maternal deaths occurring postpartum due to lack of postpartum and childcare education.
Steadily, more and more new parents are calling on the specialized knowledge and care offered by Postpartum Doulas to fill this crucial void. In support of those navigating postpartum journeys, last year we partnered with the Black Women’s Health Imperative to create NOURISH, a Postpartum Doula training program.
In an effort to quell inflated maternal mortality rates within the Black community, we donated an initial $75,000 in scholarships to support an entire cohort of Doulas. In turn, the program’s first graduating class has gone on to provide free postpartum care to numerous families across North America.
Recently, I caught up with Lydia Harris, an entrepreneur, Birth Doula, and recent NOURISH graduate (among many other endeavours) to learn more about the kind of support Postpartum Doulas are offering growing families. Lydia, who is the founder of the women’s health-focused Labor With Love, opened up about her recent experience as a Postpartum Doula for her cousin (and new mom) Maya Scott-Richardson.
Chatting together virtually, their love and candor is immediately palpable. In the wake of a traumatic delivery experience followed by a challenging bout of postpartum depression, Maya described the tender care provided by her cousin. “She was very helpful in helping me make sure I’m taking care of myself and making sure that things for the baby were also being taken care of,” she says. “I am forever grateful for that.”
Maya describes the post-birth journey as one in which she and her husband, Kadeem Richardson, had to “gently” learn to care for themselves again. Maya and Kadeem, who are both PhD graduates from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign in separate STEM disciplines (Maya specializes in Environmental Health and Data Science and Kadeem specializes in Reproductive Toxicology), navigated post-birth healing and new parenthood in tandem with busy schedules and demanding careers.
In addition to Kadeem’s full-time research, he’s also a stand-up comedian and the founder of Tafari Men’s Grooming, where he puts his chemistry background to use creating products with Black hair and beards in mind.
As Lydia so aptly points out, adapting to full-time childcare and life with a busy partner is a transition many new parents have to navigate — especially in this day and age. “I think this new-age balance that must be struck in a world where you have to have multiple jobs in order to survive and thrive is an important piece of this puzzle,” she tells me.
When asked about her journey in becoming a Doula, Lydia describes the experience as “enlightening.” Though she had no prior formal childcare experience, shocked by statistics and health disparity rates, she was called to take on Doula work as a means of improving birth rates and outcomes.
Her Postpartum Doula designation was the final step in her path to becoming a full-spectrum Doula. Still, there seemed to be an endless number of things to learn. “I walked away from every single training thinking: How in the world have I gone this far in my Doula journey without knowing this?,” she recalls.
The most important thing she learned throughout the program? You can’t pour from an empty cup. “They offered us training on how to work on ourselves, teaching us tools to heal ourselves and unpack the emotions we experience as Doulas,” she says. “Because how you take care of yourself is going to impact how you take care of others.”
It’s a philosophy Lydia has carried with her through her work, including caring for Maya during her postpartum journey — which involved everything from making meals to caring for her son so Maya and Kadeem could get some much-needed reprieve.
There were instances in which Maya recalls being up with the baby for 72 hours and the relief of having Lydia come by to ensure she was rested and fed. Sometimes, it wasn’t even a matter of Lydia physically being there. “It might be just a text and chat to say, Hey, how’s everything going?”
When the conversation shifts to misconceptions about postnatal care, Maya stresses the importance of creating a supportive environment and how much things can change post-delivery. “You know that you are expecting a baby, but things actually physically change for a lot of people once they have a baby in their hands.” Having a Postpartum Doula around also means that new parents don’t have to rely as heavily on each other.
Lydia, on her end, underlines the distinction between Nannies and Postpartum Doulas. “Both roles are very important and I think it’s important to understand that your job as a Postpartum Doula is not just to hold the baby. Your job is to take care of the birthing person.” The job doesn’t stop at child care, she stipulates. It can involve everything from observing breastfeeding to calling in a lactation consultant, identifying potential hazards in the house, doing housework, and offering emotional support.
In the future, Lydia also mentions wanting to help clients mobilize their community and network during the fourth trimester. Instead of baby showers or gender reveals, she suggests placing the emphasis on when the baby has actually arrived and new parents need help the most. This could be in the form of a cooked meal or delivery, an offer to clean the house or hold the baby — but everyone should chip in.
“You really want to help a postpartum mom?,” she says. “Don't bring me a diaper cake. Bring me a pan of lasagna three weeks after I gave birth.”