Kayde Mason Became a Surrogate for Two Eager Dads—Then She Demystified the Surrogacy Experience

I remember first hearing about gestational surrogacy almost eight years ago. Sure, I had likely heard the term “surrogate” before, but it wasn’t until then that it settled with me, found a hold, and eventually became one of my life’s greatest passions. 

Surrogacy felt right to me. It made sense. While I’ve never considered myself the picturesque pregnant person, I loved the birth experience with each of my own children and was excited to go through it again. 

As a Birth Doula, I've experienced the transformative moment of people becoming family. So, the opportunity to not just bear witness to, but to play an active part in making that happen for others was an easy and decisive yes. 

In the time since that first discovery about myself, I’ve dived deep down the rabbit hole of researching, experienced several “attempted” family matches that failed, and ended up carrying a baby girl for my dear friends. Now I get to work everyday as a Surrogacy Coordinator — helping others experience the same wonderful journey I got to be a part of. 

I first met Taylor and Kyle back in 2019 and there was an instant spark — a “these are my people” sort of moment. We bonded over Broadway and rosé and, over the next year, built a close friendship.

When they officially asked me to be their surrogate, it felt like the stars were aligning; all my experiences had worked together to get me here. It’s hard to convey the deep sense of honor I felt being asked to do one of the most intimate and trusting things imaginable: helping house, grow, and bring someone else’s child into the world. 

With the help of a wonderful egg donor, they had already worked to create and freeze embryos years in advance. So the “ingredients” were already prepared and my task was pretty straight forward — to be the oven!

I knew I wanted to mark the experience and have a way to look back on my surrogacy journey. So, I did something way outside of my comfort zone and began to document and share my experience on social media.

I documented the process — starting with the initial steps, like being medically and psychologically screened, all the way through hormone medications, embryo transfer, and the eventual birth of Rafa, the dads’ sweet baby girl.

When I was pregnant with my own children I had memorable, vivid dreams about each of them. I would wake every morning to recount the latest updates to my husband. Sometimes it was about gender or how their birth would look — sometimes even details of who they would be as a person. 

Perhaps it sounds cold, but the starkest difference I noticed with my surrogate pregnancy is that I never dreamed of Rafa. It’s like my body recognized there were already two other people out there dreaming of her every night. In fact, many times over those 9 months, I would wake up to texts from the dads excitedly detailing a story from that night’s sleep.

Maybe it was because I already had kids to keep me busy or, perhaps, it was the removed weight of having to plan to care for an infant, but I often had days when I forgot I was even pregnant. 

I faced down some of the typical prenatal nemeses, like morning sickness and sleep issues, but the pregnancy was (relatively) breezy. In fact, one of the only challenging parts of my journey as a surrogate was being faced with misconceptions and negative opinions from others.

@hellokayde #fyp #xyzbca #surrogacy #lgbtq #parents #ivf #surrogate #baby ♬ Я буду ебать - Moreart

Through sharing my experience online, I found so much more than a platform for a digital diary — I found community. Now I use my platform to share insights into the world of third party reproduction, which for so many has been a place shadowed by mystery, misinformation, and even shame.

Throughout and after my journey, I was frequently asked: “But how were you able to give up the baby? I could never do that.”

The truth is, it was never my baby to begin with. Instead of “giving up,” surrogates give babies back. Back into the arms of their parents. Back to the people who planned, saved, struggled, and fought to build a family. I was just a temporary home. 

The feeling of passing over a baby I helped grow and carry with love for nine months to her dads was, undoubtedly, one of the most meaningful moments of my life. It’s the best part. It’s what draws many others to this journey and makes some surrogates eager for a second (or even third) go at helping a family become whole.

@hellokayde #ad What are your favorite ways to love on yourself during your cycle? @knix makes it easy for me ✨ #knix #knixpartner #periodroutine #postpartum ♬ original sound - Kayde Mason

Eight years ago a door was opened, and now my life feels largely shaped by surrogacy. An added bonus to this whole experience is that my kids have learned so much and are well-versed in the different ways families can take shape. 

Surrogacy has enriched my life in every way. As I continue my work as a Surrogacy Coordinator and advocate, I hope to continue to demystify the process and help others along the same journey.

Everyday looks different. One day, I could be creating a bio for a new intended-parent, detailing the path that brought them here. Other days, I might be guiding a surrogate through medical clearance or be on a late night call providing tips and tricks for pumping breastmilk for a surro-baby.

But everyday I’m reminded of the ways I get to help change others' lives for the better, of the gratitude I hold for my own journey — and how ready I am to do it all again.