It’s the season of love and we’re seeing red: ruby-colored roses, crimson-wrapped chocolates, and red velvet lace.
However you choose to celebrate (or not celebrate), there’s hardly a better time of year to foster deep bonding and connection in your romantic relationships. And if your partner is seeing red for non-love related reasons (they’re on their period!), then what better way to show you care than nurturing them through their menstrual cycle?
If your partner’s period is fraught by cramping, discomfort, mood swings, or the slew of other not-so-fun symptoms associated with menstruation, chances are your gestures of love will go a long way.
Aside from the onslaught on dismal side effects often brought on by this hormonal phase, people who menstruate also face inequality at almost every level of society. In the workplace or at school, your partner may not be able to take time off or reduce their workloads when experiencing period-related symptoms.
Even within the medical system, chronic pain and other health conditions related to menstrual health (like endometriosis, PMDD, and PCOS) often remain under-researched, misunderstood, and mistreated.
Social stigma, too, contributes to expectations of secrecy and discretion surrounding periods. Which is to say, not only might your partner be experiencing period-related discomfort, but it’s also likely they feel external pressure to hide it.
The past few years have been marked by progress in the period arena as women-led brands, online activists, body-positive influencers, authors, and academics push to lessen stigma and raise awareness.
Still, sometimes the most meaningful progress can be affected in the comfort of home, through our intimate relationships. Ahead, you’ll find helpful tips on how to support your partner during their menstrual cycle.
Educate Yourself
Think back to your high school biology or sexual health classes. What (if anything) do you remember learning about periods? If the answer is not much, you’re among the majority.
Even when sex ed delves comprehensively into female reproductive health and hormonal cycles (there are actually four distinct phases) curriculums don’t encompass how to care for someone with a menstrual cycle.
So, if you’re in a relationship with someone who menstruates, one of the best things you can do is educate yourself. But where to start?
Consider starting with the biology of menstruation—that’s to say, how does it actually work? From there, you can work your way up to understanding the fundamentals of hormonal phases, cycle syncing, the signs and symptoms of certain period-related conditions, and the best products and treatments that can help provide relief.
Once you’ve soaked up all that knowledge, apply it to your relationship. How does your behavior or shared environment impact your partner’s period? From cooking up iron-rich foods during their menstrual cycle to getting familiar with everyday endocrine disruptors that may be lingering around your home, the opportunities to support your partner are virtually boundless.
Ask Them What They Need
Once you have a baseline understanding of the menstrual cycle and how your partner’s body changes throughout the month, the best way to offer support is to ask them what they need.
This may seem simple, but it’s also incredibly powerful. Asking about their particular needs will give your partner the opportunity to connect more deeply with themselves in identifying their needs, allowing them to share an important—but often overlooked—area of their life.
Those needs will look different in every relationship. For instance, your partner might appreciate you taking on the bulk of the cooking and cleaning so they can focus on rest. For others, support might look like being extra patient and loving because their emotions are more charged.
Create a Period Care Package
Whether or not gifting is one of your partner’s love languages, if you want to go the extra mile, consider creating a period care package for your sweetheart. First, you’re going to want to find out their favorite comfort snacks and meals—dark chocolate? Salty munchies? Carbs on carbs?
You can also inquire about their go-to pain relief remedies and self care rituals. From cramp cream to epsom salts for a hot bath, there are near endless possibilities to provide much-needed comfort.
Of course, comfortable and reusable period products, like Period Underwear, are also a game-changer—and we’re sure your partner’s top drawer could always use an extra pair.
For nights of deep rest and sweet dreams, the Super Leakproof Dream Short is a period must-have. Designed with extra absorbency for overnight flows, these dreamy sleep shorts know there’s no better sleep than a leak-free sleep.
Accept That You Might Not Understand
If you don’t menstruate but your partner does, it might feel challenging to not entirely understand what they’re going through. This natural cycle is experienced by half the population, yet, it’s also incredibly intimate and varies from person to person.
Some experience minimal symptoms during this phase, while others experience intense discomfort that can disrupt their day-to-day activities. While the male hormonal cycle operates on a roughly 24-hour loop, the female hormonal cycle is complex and ever-fluctuating—just as your partner’s needs likely are.
If you can’t entirely relate, that’s OK. The best thing you can do is be open to learning and providing support in whatever way you’re able to by meeting them where they are in any given phase.